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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29765985">The Missing Half</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tania885/pseuds/Tania885'>Tania885</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Twins, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brother/Sister Incest, Cheating, Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, F/M, Family Reunions, Forbidden Love, Forced Marriage, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Lost Love, M/M, Men of Letters British Branch (Supernatural), Mental Breakdown, Not Canon Compliant, Sam Winchester Knows, Sex in/on the Impala (Supernatural), Shower Sex, Sneaking Around, Twincest, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Wall Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:28:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>41,055</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29765985</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tania885/pseuds/Tania885</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>No one remembers you, or knows you still exist. Your father effectively erased you from the family tree. No one remembers you except for your brothers, but they don't know what happened to you.</p><p>Dean Winchester is your twin brother. He always said you were his other half. Or you're two halves of a whole. The two of you knew you were closer than what's socially acceptable, but neither of you cared. You only cared about each other and Sammy of course.</p><p>The two of you raised Sammy since your father mentally checked out to avenge your mother's death and hunt monsters. Until one day your father comes home early from a hunt and catches you and Dean in a compromising position. Then you disappeared off the face of the earth.</p><p>13 years later you re-emerge and seek out your brothers. Will you and Dean still feel the same or has enough time passed to wash the taboo feelings away? And where have you been all this time?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dean Winchester/Sister!Reader, Dean Winchester/You, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Mick Davies/Sam Winchester, Mick Davies/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm taking a break from Marvel fics. I have a couple Supernatural ones I've been working on. This fic I guess would start around season 6, but I'm not following the timeline. No soulless Sam or Godstiel. And I'm bringing the bunker and BMOL into the story much earlier.</p><p>This is total twincest smut, and Dean cheats on Lisa...a lot. If any of that bothers you and you don't like it, don't read it. You've been warned.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I started this fic awhile ago but was afraid to post it because it's so different than anything else I've written. But I put all this work  into it already so I decided to finally post it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>CHAPTER 1</p><p>Beautiful green eyes lock onto yours. No one understands the silent conversations the two of you have. Or how deep your connection to each other runs. You know what the other is thinking and feeling with just a look. He's your twin, you're two halves of a whole as he likes to say.</p><p>Right now you're both suppressing the strong urge to roll your eyes at your overbearing father.</p><p>"Salt the windows and doors. Keep everything locked, and close the blinds. If anyone calls don't answer it. If it's me I'll ring once, then call back. If I'm not back by Sunday call Pastor Jim. Most importantly the two of you keep an eye on Sammy at all times and make sure he gets to and from school. Am I understood?"</p><p>"Yes sir." You and Dean say in unison.</p><p>It's the same damn spiel every single hunt your dad goes out on. But if you say that you'll get a lecture about your attitude and probably a slap upside the head to go along with it.</p><p>"Good. I'll see you in a couple days." He hugs you and Sammy, and claps Dean on the shoulder as he leaves.</p><p>You narrow your eyes at the back of his head as he walks away. It pisses you off to no end that he doesn't show Dean any affection. He treats him more like a soldier than a son. He's your twin, he should treat both of you the same.</p><p>Once you all hear the rumbling sounds of the Impala leaving the atmosphere significantly lightens. You and Dean untense your shoulders and release the breath you were holding.</p><p>Sadly the three of you are much happier without your father around. He's a cold hearted asshole that stresses all of you out.</p><p>Even though Sammy is 13 and you and Dean are 17, because of your strange family dynamic Sam sees both of you as more his parents than his older siblings. You and Dean sort of feel the same way too. The two of you have practically raised Sammy since he was six months old when your mother died. Your father basically died that night too. He mentally checked out. You and Dean are thankful you always have each other.</p><p> </p><p>Dean double checks through the blinds to make sure the Impala is gone. You can tell just by his body language the coast is clear.</p><p>You look at Sam and smile. "Your turn to pick dinner Sammy. So what's on the menu tonight?"</p><p>He gives you a mischievous smile that Dean can't see from this angle. "Hmm….I'm thinking tofu burgers."</p><p>The look of horror and disgust on Dean's face is hilarious, and exactly what Sammy was trying to accomplish.</p><p>Both you and Sam burst into laughter as you look at Dean. Once he realizes Sam was messing with him he tries hiding his smile. "Real funny Sam. Laugh it up small fry."</p><p>"If you keep calling him that Dee he's going to end up taller than you one day."</p><p>Dean scoffs and rolls his eyes. Once Sam stops laughing at Dean he turns his attention back to you. "Pizza is fine."</p><p>"Veggie?"</p><p>He smiles and nods his head at you. Dean looks disgusted again. "How are we related? The kid lives off rabbit food."</p><p>"Oh hush Dee. You know I'll get us our own pepperoni pizza."</p><p>Dean walks across the room and puts his arm over your shoulder. "That Sis, is why you're my other half."</p><p>Once your dinner arrives the three of you climb onto the roof of the sceavy motel your father left you in. You eat your pizza and watch the sunset. Then once the stars are visible you lay down on the roof and look up at the stars. It sounds cheesy but it’s the little things that make Sammy happy. You all hate being cooped up in the motel room, and he enjoys things like this.</p><p>You are laying in between Sam and Dean. Dean grabs your hand and laces your fingers together. You give his hand a squeeze. Moments like this the three of you are happy and forget about all your problems.</p><p>When Sam starts yawning you decide to call it a night and go back inside. The motel room has two beds. You tuck Sam into his. Then you climb into the other bed next to Dean. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you against his chest and rests his chin on top of your head. “Night Sis.” He whispers quietly to you. “Night Dee.” You whisper back against his chest. To most this would seem too close even for twins. But for the three of you it’s a normal night.</p><p> </p><p>The next morning you get up early and make your brothers breakfast. Sam usually gets up shortly after you and helps. Dean doesn’t roll out of bed until he knows the food is done. You wipe flour off Sam’s nose as he stirs the pancake batter. “You’re gonna need a shower before school. You’ll get some funny looks if you go in covered in flour.”</p><p>Sam rolls his eyes. “Ya, then Dean will embarrass me more when he puffs his chest at anyone he thinks is looking at me funny.” You snort out a laugh. He’s not wrong, that’s totally Dean. “Well then go save yourself the embarrassment and clean up. I’ll be done with this by the time you get out of the shower.”</p><p>Once you’re done cooking you go wake Dean up. You try gently nudging him at first but he just growls at you. So you grab a pillow and smack him in the face. His voice is muffled under the pillow. “You’re going to pay for that.” As you turn to jump off the bed he bolts upright and pulls you back down. “Where do you think you’re going?” Then he starts relentlessly tickling you. You make loud and embarrassing squealing noises as you flail your arms and legs around. When you finally beg for mercy he stops but not before smiling smugly at you.</p><p>“I don’t know why you're smiling. Sam’s already eaten half the pancakes while you were distracted.” Dean quickly lifts his head and sees Sam with his own smug smile. “Not cool Sam!”</p><p>After breakfast you and Dean walk Sam to school. The two of you took a GED test several months ago because you were both tired of moving school to school and just wanted to be done with it. Sam on the other hand loves school. Sometimes you also wonder how you’re related. He’s the complete opposite of you and Dean, but he’s a great kid despite your messed up lifestyle.</p><p>When you’re almost to the school you stop walking. “Sam I almost forgot we got something for you.” He perks up with a questioning look on his face. You reach into your bag and pull out a book and hand it to him. His face lights up like a kid in the candy store. “That’s the one you wanted right?” He wraps his arms tightly around you. “Thank you (Y/N), you’re the best!” Then he turns and hugs Dean.</p><p>“Alright Sammy you don’t want to be late. Off to school with you.” He gives you one more hug. “Love you (Y/N).”</p><p>“Love you too Sammy.”</p><p> </p><p>You and Dean walk back to the motel hand in hand. “Why did you say we got him the book, when it was just you?” Dean asks you curiously.</p><p>“You’re my other half. If it came from me, it came from you too. Right?”</p><p>He squeezes your hand and smiles. “Right.”</p><p>The second you enter the motel room and shut the door Dean slams you up against the wall. He puts one hand on your hip and the other on the back of your neck as he crashes his lips into yours. As you move your lips against his you slip your hands under his shirt and run your hands up his back pulling him closer.</p><p>You whimper as he breaks the kiss. “Baby girl I’ve been wanting to do that for days. I love Sammy, but sometimes it pisses me off when I can’t get you alone.”</p><p>You smile at him. “I know what you mean. Especially when I wake up with this poking me in the ass.” You say as you slide your hand inside his pants and grip his already hard cock in your hand. Dean groans and resumes kissing you as you stroke him until he can’t take it anymore. He keeps his lips locked onto yours as much as possible as he walks you towards the bed while also pulling each other's clothes off.</p><p>Together you fall onto the bed once you’re both completely bare. Dean already has two fingers inside you as you devour each other’s mouths. You break the kiss and run your thumb across his bottom lip. “I need you inside me now baby. I can’t take it anymore.”</p><p>Without hesitation he removes his fingers and keeps his eyes locked onto your as he pushes all the way inside you in one swift motion. Your eyes roll back as do Dean’s and you both let out a moan. “You fit me so perfect sweetheart. You were made just for me and only me.”</p><p>“Only you Dee. And you were made for only me.”</p><p>“I’m all yours baby girl.”</p><p>You wrap your legs around him and hook your arms over his shoulders. He leans on one arm and the other goes to your hip. He always knows just how you want it without having to ask for it. He pulls out almost all the way and the slams back in. He repeats that a couple times. Then he starts relentlessly pounding into you over and over.</p><p>You scratch your nails down his back making him gasp and groan in pleasure. You bite your bottom lip to stifle your moans. “No sweetheart. I wanna hear those pretty sounds you make just for me. Let me hear you.”</p><p>You do as he asks and quit holding your moans back. You gasp out his name several times in between ‘oh god’ and ‘so good’. He’s doing the same. His forehead is pressed against your shoulder with his face buried in your neck.</p><p>He knows your body like it's his own and knows when you’re on the edge. He removes his hand from your hip and slides it between your bodies and starts rubbing your clit. You’re both covered in a fine sheen of sweat with your chests heaving from being short of breath.</p><p>“I’m going to fill you full of my cum baby girl, and mark this sweet pussy as mine.”</p><p>“Yes Dee!”</p><p>He slams into you harder over and over, pushing you over the edge. You scream out his name as your walls tighten as spasm around him. Watching you come and call out his name pushes him over the edge. His hips stutter as he calls out your name. You feel his cock twitching as he spills his come inside you.</p><p>Dean stays inside you as you both try catching your breath. He runs his fingers through your hair and you rub your hands across his back. This is when the two of you feel whole, when you’re completely connected. Dean lifts his head and kisses you sweetly on the lips before slowly pulling out of you. He lays down next to you and pulls you onto his chest.</p><p>“I love you (Y/N).”</p><p>“I love you too Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>The two of you are very aware how taboo this is. How people would be disgusted of you both if they found out. But the two of you can’t help it. Maybe it's from your fucked up upbringing, or maybe you’re both just messed up in the head. Neither of you are sure. But what you are sure of is your love for each other. Being together just feels right, like it was meant to be this way and you were truly made for eachother.</p><p>Being twins you were always close, but as you got older you both knew without saying it out loud that you were closer than you were supposed to be. The first time Dean kissed you, you were 13. He heard another boy liked you and was going to ask you to a school dance. Dean kissed you to be your first kiss and to claim your lips as his he said.</p><p>The first time you slept together was your sophomore year of high school. Juniors asked both of you to the prom. Your dad let Dean drive the Impala even though he didn’t have a real license. Neither of you actually went to the prom, you spent most of the night in the back seat together.</p><p>Your taboo relationship with your twin is also what led the two of you into taking your GED tests. With no school the two of you have more alone time together now. Sometimes stolen moments for a quick kiss when no one is looking just isn’t enough.</p><p> </p><p>Later that afternoon after you both clean yourselves up you’re laying on the couch reading a book. Dean turns the radio on and jumps over the couch landing on top of you. Before you can say something snarky to him he takes your book and throws it across the room. He kisses you like it's been a lifetime since he’s kissed you when it’s really only been an hour or two.</p><p>When he breaks the kiss he smiles at you with lust blown eyes. You quirk an eyebrow at him. “We just showered, we can’t dirty each other up again. There’s not enough time before school is out to take another shower.”</p><p>Dean smiles mischievously at you. “We can still do things with our clothes on sweetheart. You know how insatiable you make me.” Then he unbuttons your jeans and slips his hand inside your underwear. He easily puts two fingers inside of you. You gasp and grind against his hand. He’s still smiling at you. “And you are just as insatiable as me.” Then he leans down and claims your lips again.</p><p>You gasp when he adds a third finger and that allows him to slip his tongue into your mouth. You slide your hand between your bodies and reach for his jeans but suddenly Dean is roughly yanked off you and thrown onto the floor. You quickly sit up on the couch and pull your knees to your chest as your father stares at you with disgust written all over his face.</p><p>Dean had the radio up so loud and you were caught up in each other so you didn’t hear the Impala pull up or the motel room door open. When he speaks it's in an eerily calm and low voice, which is actually more terrifying than him yelling. “What the hell is wrong with the two of you. Tell me I didn’t just see what I thought I saw.”</p><p>Dean is still laying on the floor frozen in fear, afraid to move. When neither of you move or say anything his eyes fill with rage. He grabs you by your hair and pulls you off the couch. The instant you scream in pain Dean is on his feet coming to defend you. “Dad let her go. You’re hurting her!”</p><p>He releases you, and knocks you to the floor. Then he grabs Dean by the throat and shoves him harshly into the wall. “You disgust me, and bring shame to the Winchester name. This ends here and now, and will never be talked about again.” Then your dad punches Dean in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. He falls to the floor as he gasps for air.</p><p>Now you jump to your feet and run to help Dean. “Don’t fucking touch him you piece of shit!” Before you can get to Dean your father is grabbing you by the hair again and dragging you out of the motel. He punches you in the gut, knocking the wind out of you to stop you from screaming. Your vision gets blurry from tears as you try gripping onto anything to keep you from being dragged out. But your father is much stronger than you. Dean tries getting back to his feet and you extend your arm like you're reaching for him. You still haven’t caught your breath but you manage to gasp out his name. “Dean.”</p><p>Then you are thrown into the Impala. The second your dad walks away from the door you jump out but he easily catches you with a couple strides. The last thing you see is Dean running towards you and everything goes black.</p><p>That’s the last day you saw both of your brothers.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I just want to reiterate that I'm not following the timeline. Sam's not in hell and he has his soul.</p><p>Also this isn't a Lisa friendly fic.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>CHAPTER 2</p><p> </p><p>13 years later…….</p><p>Dean’s POV</p><p> </p><p>Dean sighs and rubs the sleep out of his eyes as his alarm goes off. He feels the bed shake as the body lying next to him moves. She cuddles up closer to him seeking out his warmth. Dean internally cringes. She’s a good woman, and puts up with the walking disaster that he is. But she’s not the right woman. Her shape, hair color, eyes, just everything is wrong. He takes a deep breath to clear his head. He made Sam a promise, he has to make this work.</p><p>He turns the alarm off and rolls out of bed. Then sleepily stumbles into the bathroom. Once the door is shut and locked he pulls his hidden bottle of whiskey out of his bathrobe and takes a couple drinks. Time to start numbing his feelings.</p><p>No matter how much time passes he can’t get you out of his head. He still has nightmares about the last day you were together, the last word he ever heard you say was his name as you reached for him with tears in your eyes. He’s felt empty inside ever since then. No matter how much he drinks or slept around he can’t ever fill that missing piece, that hole that's festering in his chest.</p><p>When he gets into the shower he turns it scalding hot to wash the dirt and shame from his body. The extra heat makes the scar on his right hand almost as prominent as the day it happened. 

</p>
<p>
  <em>When the two of you were 15 your father was teaching him combat training. Dean wasn’t performing up to parr according to your father’s standards and wasn’t going easy on him either. He was doing hand to hand combat with knives. You were standing by anxiously watching. Dean put his hand up to protect his face. You somehow knew what was about to happen and ran to your brother and put your hand on top of his to help shield him. Your father ran the knife straight through both of your hands.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He left you both outside to bleed and told you to stitch it up and clean the mess. Despite the excruciating pain you didn’t shed a single tear, trying to stay strong for your twin. “Now we are one Dee, our blood is mixed together.” Each of you put your uninjured hand on the knife to pull it out together. Dean looks you in the eyes. “If you bleed I bleed too.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You took turns stitching each other's wounds. Once you were finished you put the palm of your injured hand against Dean’s and repeated his words. “If you bleed I bleed too.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Tears spill from Dean’s eyes mixing with the water dripping down his face from the shower. Him and Sam searched for you for years and always came up empty. Part of him fears his father actually killed you, but he thinks he would feel if you were really gone. And of course John would never speak of you. Even before he died he wouldn't tell him or Sammy what happened to you.</p><p>He forces himself to reign his emotions in and pull himself together. He takes another drink of whiskey after his shower before brushing his teeth so the woman making him breakfast downstairs won’t smell it on his breath.</p><p>He promised Sam if they made it through the apocalypse he would try living a normal life with Lisa. A woman he briefly dated a few years ago, and for some reason wanted to keep him around. Her son Ben even seemed to like him.</p><p>Dean goes downstairs and joins Lisa and Ben for breakfast. Lisa kisses his cheek as she hands him his coffee. He puts a fake smile on his face. “Thanks Lis.”</p><p>His skin is still pink from the extra scalding hot shower he took. She sees the angry scar on his hand as he grabs the coffee mug. “What happened to your hand? Was that scar already there?” Dean stutters as he tries thinking of the right words to say. She doesn’t know about you, no one does but Sammy. It hurts the two of them too much to talk about you with anyone but each other. “Oh ya, that happened a long time ago when I was a teenager. Heat just makes it stand out more. It’s fine.”</p><p>“What’s it from?” She asks out of pure curiosity. Dean has to force himself to keep his temper and not yell at her for prying. It's not her fault, she doesn't know it's a sore subject.“It’s been so long I don’t even remember. I better head out. See you tonight.” He starts to walk away but she pulls on his free hand so he doesn’t make it far.</p><p>“Are you forgetting something?”</p><p>He looks around to see what she’s talking about. She rolls her eyes. “Where’s my goodbye kiss Dean?” Again he plasters a fake smile on his face. “Right, sorry.” He leans down and gives her a quick peck on the lips. Even her lips feel wrong to him. But she seems satisfied and finally releases his hand.</p><p>On his drive to work he spices up his coffee with the hidden bottle of booze in his truck. He drives a truck now and works construction. He has Baby parked inside Lisa’s garage. It’s been a year and he still calls it Lisa’s house, because it’s never felt like his house to him. But he’ll keep trying.</p><p>As he goes through the motions of his mundane daily routine he keeps getting this feeling of being watched. So all day long he’s looking over his shoulder. Could just be old habits die hard. It doesn’t feel like the creepy monster in the dark kind of being watched. But he still can’t shake the feeling.</p><p> </p><p>After work he goes to a local bar with a couple guys from work. He needs to get more liquor in him before going home. The guys always try asking him questions about his past but he manages to deter the subject everytime.</p><p>His phone goes off and he rolls his eyes before he even looks to see who it is. Because he already knows who it is. Lisa wants to know when he’s going to be home, because she has dinner ready. “Sorry fellas, looks like I gotta call it a night.”</p><p>They decide to leave with him before their wives start sending them angry texts also. Dean looks around the parking lot for anything suspicious or out of place. He just feels eyes on him, but he doesn’t see anyone or anything. “You’re losing it Dean. I mean seriously, I’m even talking to myself out loud now.” He shakes his head at himself and hops into his truck and drives back to Lisa’s.</p><p>She’s happy to see him the moment he walks in the door. Again he doesn’t understand why. He knows he must be a terrible boyfriend, but she sees something in him. She hugs and kisses him and tells him how she missed him all day. He goes through the motions and says all the things he knows he is supposed to say. He asks Ben how school was, and how Lisa’s day was.</p><p>Ben eats quickly and heads up to his room to go play video games. So it’s just him and Lisa now. They are about halfway through dinner when the doorbell rings. Lisa jumps up. “I’ll get it, you worked hard all day. So just finish your dinner.”</p><p>Dean just absentmindedly nods his head. A short time later Lisa comes back with a frown on her face. He’s trying to think what he might have done wrong. She puts her hands on her hips and gives him a confused look. “There’s a girl at the door asking for you, but won’t tell me who she is. I shut the door in her face and told her I’d be right back.”</p><p>Dean’s heart starts pounding so hard he’s afraid it's going to beat right out of his chest. He gets up so quickly he knocks his chair over, but he doesn’t care. He practically runs through the house and comes to a screeching halt at the door as he reaches for the door knob.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a warning there's implied self harm and abuse throughout the story.  Nothing graphic though.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>CHAPTER 3</p><p>Reader POV</p><p> </p><p>You lay in bed in the fancy hotel room staring at the ceiling. Your mind is racing and won’t let you sleep. The body lying next to you stirs. You hold your breath like that alone will stop him from waking up. When you hear his quiet snores you release the breath you were holding, and turn to look at the clock on the nightstand. You might as well go take a shower and get ready for the day. </p><p>These fancy hotels still feel foreign to you. It's the complete opposite of the places you stayed in growing up. Part of you still actually prefers the crappy motels.</p><p>You take an almost cold shower to wake you up. But also because hot showers make the scars on your body more prominent and you don’t feel like spiralling into your own wallowing or self hatred just yet. </p><p>When you get out of the shower you put on long sleeves to cover your arms. You take a chance and glance at the sleeping form in your bed.</p><p>He's a late sleeper so you don't want to wake him or wait for him. That's the reasoning you tell yourself as you quietly sneak out of your room. </p><p>You stop for coffee and stare at the address you wrote down. The address Sammy gave you. He was actually easy to find once you were able to get away. You talked for hours, but you both cried into the phone first. He promised he wouldn't tell Dean you were coming. Which you appreciated and you also knew that had to be hard for him. But you promised you would drive to see him next.</p><p>You talk a deep breath and drive to the address on the piece of paper. It's way too early to go knocking on the door. Sammy told you Dean's living with his girlfriend and her son. Which gives you mixed feelings. He also told you Dean made him a promise to try living a normal life if they made it through the apocalypse. Sam tried going back to school, but decided that just wasn’t his life anymore. He’s kind of taken over Bobby’s old job since he passed away. </p><p>You’re pulled from your thoughts when you see movement and your heart practically stops as you see a face you've only been able to dream about for the last 13 years. Dean walks out of the house dressed for work. He looks around before climbing into his truck. He looks the same, just older. He’s just as handsome as you remember.</p><p>You want to run to him and throw your arms around him, but you're afraid. What if the two of you aren't the same anymore? What if you're not two halves of a whole and you're just separate people now? </p><p>You've been trying to decide the best opportunity to make yourself known. Certainly not while he's working. You finally decide to wait until he's off work.</p><p>So you take your time driving back to the hotel. When you eventually make it back Mick's obviously been awake for a while. He gives you his cheery smile to go along with his British accent. "There you are love, you certainly got an early start this morning."</p><p>You put a fake smile on your face. "Ya, I couldn't sleep. Went for a drive and got some coffee."</p><p>Mick steps closer to you and puts his hands on your shoulders. After everything the two of you have been through together he's become very good at reading you. "What's wrong love? Didn’t you find him?"</p><p>You let out a dramatic sigh. "I found his house. Even watched him get into his truck. But I didn't want to spring myself on him as he was leaving for work. I'll go back to his house tonight."</p><p>"Your nerves getting the best of ya?"</p><p>You bite your lip and nod your head. He pulls you into a hug. "He's your twin. He'll be happy to see you after all this time. You're probably worrying for nothin'."</p><p> </p><p>Hours of nervously waiting later you decide to get ready to leave. You put your wide leather bracelets on your wrists to cover your scars. You don't want Dean to see those. As you put the bracelet on your left wrist you glare at the wedding ring on your finger. Then your eyes zero in on the scar in the middle of your hand, and you remember the day it got there very clearly. “If you bleed I bleed Dee.” You whisper quietly.</p><p>“You sure you don’t want me to come with you love?” Mick’s voice surprises you making you startle in your seat. He chuckles. “I’m sorry wasn’t trying to give you a fright.”</p><p>“No it’s okay Mick. I was just lost in thought I guess. And no I want to see how this reunion goes first, and then I’ll introduce you.”</p><p>He gently runs his fingers through your hair. “Okay, I understand. I’m just a phone call away if you change your mind.” You stand up and give him a hug. When you pull back he kisses your cheek before releasing you. You give him a small smile. “Thank you.”</p><p>When you leave the hotel you drive to Dean’s work since you’re not entirely sure what time he gets off work. As you pull up Dean is driving out in his truck. Your heart starts pounding rapidly again as you see his beautiful face. You turn the car around and follow him. Of course he doesn’t drive straight home, he goes to a bar with some guys from work. You don’t want to reunite with him in a bar. As you wait you decide to text Sammy. You’ve been texting each other since the day you first called him. He knows you’re nervous too. He keeps telling you the same thing as Mick that you’re worrying for nothing. </p><p>It feels like hours pass but in reality it was only one hour. As he tells his friends goodbye he scours the parking lot with his eyes so you slide down in the seat so he can’t see you. When you hear his truck start you slowly peek your eyes up and see him driving away. </p><p>Hopefully he’s going home now. You wait a couple minutes before leaving since you already know where his home is. When you do finally arrive there you give yourself a pep talk for a good 20 minutes, as does Sam through several text messages.</p><p>You roll your shoulders and take a deep breath. “You can do this (Y/N). He’s your twin for fucks sake. And I’m officially losing it, I’m talking to myself.” You huff at yourself in annoyance and jump out of the car. </p><p>When you get to the front door you hold your finger over the doorbell, and force yourself to push it. When it rings you hear some voices inside. You put your hands in your pockets and take a couple steps back. Your heart sinks a little when a woman opens the door and not Dean. She’s beautiful, with dark hair and brown eyes. Seeing her almost makes you lose your nerves. She looks you up and down and gives you a confused look. “Can I help you?”</p><p>You clear your throat awkwardly. “Um...ya I’m here to see Dean.”</p><p>She crosses her arms over her chest and frowns at you. “And you are?”</p><p>“Could you just ask Dean to come to the door please?” </p><p>Her frown only deepens. “I’ll be right back.” Then she slams the door. You didn’t tell her who you were because Sammy told you she doesn’t know about you. How really no one still living knows about you. Maybe Dean wants to keep it that way. Sam explained it was because it hurt too much to talk about so they only talked about you with each other. He still doesn’t know the real reason your father took you away. He fired so many questions at you that you managed to avoid that one. </p><p>You hear noises inside, like things being knocked over. Then that's followed by the sound of heavy footsteps. They stop when they reach the door and rip it open.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Reunited at last!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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<p>CHAPTER 4</p>
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<p>Your heart pounds so hard you’re sure you’re going to give yourself a heart attack. The moment the door opens and your eyes lock onto his beautiful green eyes that you have missed so much you’re pretty sure your heart stops.</p>
<p>“(Y/N)?” Dean says just barely above a whisper.</p>
<p>Tears start clouding your vision as you nod your head. “Ya Dee it’s me.” He jumps out the door at the sound of your voice and pulls you into an almost bone crushing hug. You hug him back just as tightly. You told yourself not to cry, but you can’t help it. The moment you feel his arms around you for the first time in 13 years you feel whole again. You cry into his chest, and can hear Dean’s labored breathing and sniffling sounds. He’s crying too.</p>
<p>You embrace each other for what feels like hours, and neither of you want to let go of each other for fear that the other may disappear. Someone clearing their throat gets your attention. Dean ignores the other person and gently pulls your face from his chest. He puts both of his hands on your face and wipes your tears away. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you sweetheart. I’ve been hoping for this moment for years.”</p>
<p>You put your hands on his face that’s tear stained. His eyes are still watery. “I have a pretty good idea. I missed you so much it hurts Dee.”</p>
<p>“Dean who is this?” His girlfriend says in a very frustrated tone.</p>
<p>He keeps his eyes locked on yours as he slides a hand down your arm until he finds your hand and laces your fingers together. He turns to his angry girlfriend. “Lisa this is (Y/N), my twin sister.”</p>
<p>Her mouth drops open and she looks at him in disbelief. “Since when do you have a twin, let alone a sister?”</p>
<p>Dean squeezes your hand and turns his eyes back to yours. “Maybe we should do this inside?” You just nod your head in agreement. He pulls you along with him as he brushes past Lisa and walks inside. You failed to notice he didn’t introduce her to you, but you honestly couldn’t care any less about that. </p>
<p>He walks you to the dining room where dinner is long forgotten. He picks up the chair he knocked over and sits you down in a chair next to him. He reluctantly releases your hand when Lisa sits in the chair on the other side of him, across from you. </p>
<p>“Sweetheart where the hell have you been? Me and Sammy looked everywhere for you.”</p>
<p>You give him a small sad smile. “You looked everywhere on this continent only I’m guessing?” He frowns at you and looks confused. “He sent me to England. With your fear of flying he knew you would never think to look that far away.”</p>
<p>Dean’s eyes go wide and he slams his fist on the table making Lisa jump. “That son of a bitch! If he wasn’t already dead I’d kill him myself. Uh oh...did you know dad was dead?”</p>
<p>“Oh yes, I celebrated with a bottle of whiskey when I found out.”</p>
<p>Lisa, clearly tired of being ignored raises her voice. “Dean! How about an explanation!?”</p>
<p>Dean wipes a hand down his face. You were worried you wouldn’t be able to read each other or have silent conversations anymore. But you can read his face like no time has passed. He looks you in the eyes to apologize and let you know he’s frustrated with her interrupting also. “Okay Lis, I’m sorry. Like I said she’s my twin. Our dad sent her away when we were 17. He wouldn’t tell us where and me and Sammy were never able to find her no matter how hard we tried. And dad took it to the grave with him, that son of a bitch. Then our memory of her just became something private between us. We didn’t like to talk about it with other people, it was a painful reminder that we failed to find her.”</p>
<p>She looks between the two of you for a minute. “If you haven’t seen each other in over a decade how do you know it's really her?” </p>
<p>Under normal circumstances the look Dean gives her would be funny to you. He looks at her like she’s insane. He just knows, you both can feel each other. But you decide to help him out. You lean closer to him and extend your arm across the table holding your scarred left hand up. “If you bleed I bleed Dee.” He puts his scarred right hand up and puts his palm to yours and laces your fingers together again. “If you bleed I bleed sweetheart.” Then he turns to look at Lisa. “I just know, but this also proves it. No one knows that but her. Not even Sammy.”</p>
<p>She crosses her arms over her chest. “You told me you didn’t remember how you got that scar.”</p>
<p>Dean huffs in annoyance. “That’s because how we got the scar isn’t really a good story to talk about in front of children. Ben was in the room when you asked me. And like I already said it involved my sister so I didn’t want to talk about it.”</p>
<p>Dean squeezes your hand that’s still joined with his and finally feels the ring on your finger. He tilts your hand with a frown on his face so he can see it. He looks up at you with sadness in his eyes. “Are you…...you’re married?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” You whisper quietly, but you know he heard you. You want to explain to him, but not with his girlfriend sitting right there she’s not going to understand. So you don’t elaborate. He stutters as he tries to find words. “Um….what….what exactly happened to you?”</p>
<p>You take a deep breath. Dean hasn’t let go of your hand which you're thankful for, but he tilts your hand back so he doesn’t have to see the ring. “Well dad sent me to England like I said. I know you and Sammy have heard of the Men of Letters by now. He sent me to live with a family that were members of the British Men of Letters Chapter. That’s mostly why it took me so long to get back here.”</p>
<p>“Where’s your husband?” Lisa blurts out.</p>
<p>Dean isn’t the only one with a temper. You can blow just like him. You’ve been trying to be understanding considering this is her house. But she’s pushing all the wrong buttons and is pissing you off. “He’s back at the hotel. I told him I wanted to see my brother first, and would introduce him later.”</p>
<p>“Why did your father send you away?” She fires another question at you before you can say more or before Dean can respond. </p>
<p>“Listen, I don’t want to sound impolite but there are some things I would like to talk to my brother about privately. No offence to you, I just don’t know you. And it's been 13 long and painful years. Dean and I have a lot to catch up on.”</p>
<p>She goes to say something but Dean butts in before she can interrupt anymore. “I completely agree sweetheart. How about we go for a drive in Baby?”</p>
<p>Your face lights up. “Really? You still have it?”</p>
<p>He nods his head and has a real smile on his face. “We gotta call Sammy too. He’s not going to believe you're really here after all this time.” Your face falls a little with guilt written all over your face. Dean reaches his free hand over and gently grips your chin with his thumb and forefinger. “Sweetheart what’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“Please don’t be mad. Sammy was easy to find considering he’s living in a Men of Letters bunker. I’ve already talked to him, and he gave me your address. I asked him not to tell you I was coming. I told him I’d come see him next.”</p>
<p>His facial expression changes several times. Shock, confusion, anger, surprise, and finally he looks like he accepts it. “It’s been too long. I’m not going to waste my time being mad. I’m just happy you’re here and we have you back.  Let’s go for that drive, and we’ll talk okay?”</p>
<p>He stands and pulls you up with him. He brushes past Lisa again and keeps a tight grip on your hand as he walks through the house and into the garage. Once you get into the garage he finally releases your hand so he can pull the cover off the Impala. “Wanna give me a hand with this?” You nod your head and go to the other side of the car and help pull the cover off.</p>
<p>When you can see the whole car you run your fingers across the sleek black metal and smile. Even though this car belonged to your father the three of you basically grew up in it, and you have a lot of fond memories. You even blush a little when you look in the backseat and remember things that happened back there. Dean is smiling as you marvel at the car you haven’t seen since the day you were taken away in it. </p>
<p>Lisa is standing in the doorway leaning against the frame watching Dean. “He never lets anyone in or drive that thing.” She says with a voice full of annoyance. </p>
<p>Funny enough just as she said that Dean was already tossing you the keys. You easily catch them and your smile only gets wider. “Really? Dad never let me drive it.” Dean scoffs. “Ya well fuck him. It’s my car now, so let's go.”</p>
<p>The two of you hop in and you immediately start the car. When you hear the rumbling sound you run your hands across the steering will. “Man I missed this car. But not as much as I missed you.”</p>
<p>Dean gives you a sad smile. “I know sis. Me too.”</p>
<p>As you pull out of the garage Dean turns the radio up. He’s completely oblivious to the fact he didn’t say goodbye to Lisa, let alone acknowledge she was in the garage. He just keeps his eyes locked on you. For the first time in 13 years that hole festering in his chest feels like it's been filled. He feels whole again. </p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hmm...what happens when you go for a drive alone with Dean in the Impala? Guesses anyone?</p><p>Side note - mentions of abuse and homophobia. Again, nothing graphic.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>CHAPTER 5</p><p> </p><p>Dean has Led Zepplin blaring on the radio as you drive down the backroads. You’re singing along together with the windows down. Feeling happier than you have in years. When the song comes to an end he turns the radio down and gives you directions to somewhere he wants to take you. </p><p>He takes you down some dirt road through a wooded area. When you make it through the trees there’s an open clearing. You give him a questioning look as you park the Impala. He gives you a smile in response. “I come here when I want to be alone or clear my head. Remember when we were kids and we’d lay on the roof of the crappy motels with Sammy watching the stars?”</p><p>Now you finally understand. It’s a nice night for it too. It’s warm, but not too warm and the sky is clear so all the stars are visible. Dean climbs out and jumps up on the hood of the car. So you follow suit and sit next to him. You both just lay there in silence for a few minutes as you look up at the stars. It does remind you of your childhood, except Sammy isn’t here. </p><p>Dean breaks the peaceful silence. “So are you happily married?”</p><p>You sigh and turn your head towards him. “It’s complicated. Which is why I didn’t want to talk about it in front of your girlfriend, she wouldn’t understand. Sorry if I pissed her off by the way.”</p><p>Dean shrugs his shoulder. “No it's fine, you were more polite about it than I would have been. So how about you start from the beginning then.”</p><p>This is kind of the moment you’ve been waiting for. To be alone with him and tell him everything. Well almost everything. There’s a couple details you plan on omitting. Dean wraps his arm around you and pulls you to him like he used to. You rest your head on his chest, and immediately feel calm and safe.</p><p>“Okay Dee. So after dad dragged me away in the Impala he had knocked me out and I woke up at an airport. I told him he was insane if he thought I would willingly get on a plane. He then proceeded to tell me several different ways he planned on hurting you while making me watch if I didn’t go. I’m so sorry. I didn’t wanna go Dee, but I couldn’t let him hurt you.” </p><p>Dean puts his other arm around you and hugs you. “It’s okay sis. I understand, I would have made the same choice. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for.”</p><p>You nod your head against his chest and force yourself to continue. “When I landed in England there was a couple waiting for me. Like I told you before they were members of the Men of Letters, apparently dad had some connections since our grandfather was a member of the American chapter before they all died. They took me to their house, and that’s when I met their son Mick……..my husband. They had him locked in a room, and threw me in with him. We were told we had to cure each other's impure and unnatural thoughts and urges.”</p><p>Dean squeezes you tighter. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What kind of sick people did he send you too?”</p><p>“Well apparently to them being gay wasn’t not acceptable. Mick is gay. He got caught messing around with a boy from school. And then there was you know the whole reason I was sent there. So they decided we were a perfect match and could fix each other. I didn’t want to marry Mick, we were forced to get married when we were 20. And this fucking ring on my hand won’t come off. They put some kind of spell on it so I can’t take the goddamn thing off.”</p><p>You feel Dean’s body tense up. “Are you fucking serious?! That is all kinds of crazy messed up bullshit. What about this Mick guy, you said he was at your hotel. Has he treated you okay or do I need to tear his throat out?”</p><p>You chuckle against his chest. “He’s just as innocent in all this as me. They would keep us locked up together. Sometimes it was weeks before they would let us out. So even though I didn’t want to marry him he is pretty much my best friend. We were all each other had so we became close. We love each other, just not romantically. We finally just decided to play along with what his family wanted. If we pretended to be happily married and in love we got more freedom. That’s mostly why it took me so long to make it back here. We had to prove we were ‘cured’.”</p><p>Dean stays quiet for what feels like a lifetime and you start to get nervous. You hear him take a deep breath and his heart starts beating faster. “Did they?” He whispers to you.</p><p>“Did they what?”</p><p>“Cure you?” </p><p>You lift your head so you can see his face. He has his eyes closed and he’s biting his lip like he’s bracing himself. “Dee look at me. Please.” He slowly exhales and peeks his eyes open. Once he’s making eye contact with you, you answer his question. “No, they didn’t. I love you just as much, if not more than I did back then. You are and always will be my other half.”</p><p>“We’re two halves of a whole.” Dean whispers. Then he puts a hand on the back of your neck pulling you to him until your lips crash together. It feels even better than you remember. Having his soft lips caressing yours again makes you break out into goosebumps.</p><p>But he breaks the kiss far quicker than you wanted. Then you have a moment of panic that maybe he doesn’t feel the same way now. Maybe kissing you felt wrong and that’s why he stopped. </p><p>He puts his hands on your face so that you look at him. “Baby girl, calm down.”</p><p>You missed hearing him call you that. Out of all the things he calls you, that has always been your favorite. Even though he’s only five minutes older than you he says that makes you his baby sister.</p><p>“(Y/N) look at me. I wasn’t stopping because I wanted to stop. The hood of this car is fucking uncomfortable. Now let me tell you how I feel. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by in the last 13 years that I haven’t thought about you. I love you, I need you, and I want to have you again. Please tell me I can have you again?”</p><p>His words wash away the panicked feelings you were having. You lean forward and press your lips to his again. You nibble on his bottom lip as you pull away. That should answer his question. His face lights up and he slides off the hood. As you are still trying to sit upright he scoops you up making you squeal in surprise. He chuckles as he opens the backdoor and lays you in the backseat. He looks you up and down before he climbs in crawling his way up your body. </p><p>He smiles as he looks down at you. “Reminds me of our first time back here. Except you’re not wearing a dress for easy access, and we’re a little bigger now.”</p><p>“Sorry to disappoint. I wasn’t planning on this. I was worried too much time had passed and you wouldn’t feel the same anymore.”</p><p>Dean leans down so his lips are just millimeters away from yours, you can feel his breath ghost across your lips. “Listen to me baby girl. It will never matter how much time passes. Nothing can ever change the way I feel about you.”  Then he presses his lips to yours in a claiming kiss. As he kisses you he slips one hand under your shirt and grasps onto your waist. You reach for the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head forcing you to break the kiss. </p><p>You look at his bare torso. His body has changed. He’s more toned, there’s an anti possession sigil tattooed on his chest, and there’s a handprint on his upper left arm. Almost looks like it was burned into his skin. You put your hand on top of the handprint. “Is this from the angel that saved you?”</p><p>Dean cocks his head to the side. “You know about that?” You nod your head. “The Men of Letters keep tabs on American hunters. And Sammy filled in any blanks I had.” With your free hand you run your fingertips along his chest and stomach. “Your body has changed. I don’t mean that in a bad way though.” </p><p>Dean then reaches for the hem of your shirt and pulls it over your head. Now it's his turn to look at your body. He skates his fingertips across your skin. Your anti possession tattoo is on your lower stomach just above your hip, and you’re much curvier than before. “So has yours, but you’re just even more beautiful than before.”</p><p>His lips trace along your jaw to your neck and he kisses his way down your chest and belly. He stops when he gets to your jeans and looks up at you. You bite your lip in anticipation and nod your head and kick your shoes off. He opens your jeans and slides them down your legs with your underwear. He keeps his eyes locked onto yours as he unbuckles his belt. He only breaks eye contact to remove the remainder of his clothing. You take your bra off as he’s doing that. </p><p>When he climbs back in he pulls the door shut behind him and runs his hands all the way up your body. “You are so fucking sexy and beautiful baby girl.”</p><p>“So are you baby.”</p><p>You put your hand on the back of his neck pulling him down to you so you can kiss him. You’ve missed kissing him. You’ve missed everything about him. As your kissing him like your life depends on it you feel his rock hard cock pressing against your hip.</p><p>He breaks the kiss and presses his forehead to yours. “Baby girl, I would love to take my time with you. But it’s been too fucking long. I need you now. Can I be with you without anything between us? I swear I’ve only ever done that with you.”</p><p>“Me too Dee. Yes, I need you now. I want to feel whole again.”</p><p>You wrap your legs around him. He reaches between your bodies and you feel him pressing against your entrance. He leans on one arm and holds your hip with the other as he slowly pushes inside you. His forehead is still gently pressed against yours. You both moan once he’s fully sheathed inside you. “Oh baby girl, you still fit me perfectly. You were made for me and only me.”</p><p>“Only you Dee. And you were made for only me.”</p><p>“I’m all yours sweetheart. I always have been.”</p><p>He moves the hand holding your hip and puts it above your head to keep you from hitting your head on the door. Then he slowly pulls almost all the way out and slowly slides all the way back in. He does that a couple times. He still knows your body, and just what you want without having to ask. </p><p>He then starts thrusting in and out of you at a steady pace. Your eyes roll back, you can’t find the right words to describe how good it feels to have him inside you again. You scrape your nails down his back making him moan. Then you move your hands lower, grabbing his ass pulling him impossibly closer to you as you roll your hips to meet his thrusts.</p><p>“Don’t stop baby girl. You feel so fucking good. Let me hear those pretty little sounds I missed. Tell me how good you feel.”</p><p>He starts pounding into you harder just like you wanted. You pant out his name and moan loudly several times. “So good Dee.”</p><p>You are both starting to sweat and the windows of the Impala are fogging up. As he thrusts harder you move your hips faster and quickly feel yourself on the edge. Dean finds your lips with his, it’s a sloppy kiss all tongue and teeth. He knows you're close so he grabs one of your arms and pulls it over your head so you can keep yourself from hitting your head on the door. Then he reaches between your bodies and starts vigorously rubbing your clit.</p><p>“Can I come inside you? Mark you as mine again?”</p><p>“Yes! Fill me up with your come Dean.”</p><p>He lets out a growl and buries his face in your neck. He gives you a few extra hard thrusts pushing you over the edge. You cry out, practically screaming as you reach your climax. You come so hard you thought you might black out. Watching you come and scream his name always pushed him over the edge. His thrusts get sloppy as his hips stutter and cries out as he comes deep inside you. </p><p>You both lay there still connected with each other gasping for air trying to catch your breath. You run your hands across every inch of his skin that you can reach. This is the feeling you have missed, being whole with him. “Are we one again Dean?” You whisper next to his ear.</p><p>He unburies his face from your neck and looks into your eyes. “Ya baby girl. We’re whole again. Right where we’re meant to be.” He presses a soft kiss to your lips. “I love you (Y/N).”</p><p>“I love you too Dean.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>He gives you one more kiss and then slowly pulls out of you. You immediately miss the feeling of being connected to him. He opens the door to let some fresh air in. When he’s halfway dressed he steps out of the car to give you some room. Not thinking you turn your back towards him and lean down to grab your shirt. </p><p>“What the hell happened to you?” Dean says, sounding both angry and worried.</p><p>You immediately sit upright and put your back flat on the backseat. You keep your eyes downcast in shame and try willing the tears away. Dean kneels down and puts his hand on your leg. With the other he turns your face toward him. “(Y/N) talk to me please.”</p><p>“Um….well in the beginning I rebelled and I fought back. I refused to do anything I was told and stood my ground. So they said I had to be punished. Those scars are lash marks. That alone I could have handled. They eventually figured out physical torture wasn’t going to break me. It was the psychological torture that got to me. They would mess with my mind, make me see things that weren’t really there. Eventually they won, they broke me. I had no fight left in me Dean. I couldn’t take it anymore, and the longer I was away from you the more broken I felt. They broke Mick the same way too. That’s why we finally started acting like a real married couple.” </p><p>You finally make eye contact with Dean both of you have tears in your eyes. “Are you ashamed of me? Winchester’s are supposed to break.”</p><p>Dean pushes you over gently in the seat and climbs in next to you then pulls you into his lap. “Of course I’m not ashamed of you. You’re strong. Look at everything you went through and you still found your way back to me. And you’re not the only Winchester that broke. They broke me in hell. Did you hear about that?”</p><p>You squeeze him tightly. “Not exactly. I just know you made a demon deal to save Sammy and your soul was sent to hell until an angel saved you.”</p><p>“Well I was dead for four months, but in hell it was forty years. I was tortured everyday non stop. The demon that tortured me said he would stop if I did the torturing instead. I broke after thirty years, I couldn’t take it anymore and started torturing souls to end my own suffering. I was lost and broken too. Are you ashamed of me now?”</p><p>“Never. I love you always, no matter what.”</p><p>“And that’s exactly how I feel about you sweetheart. Those people will never hurt you again, because we will never be separated again.”</p><p>You lift your head so you can see his face. “What about your life here? What about your girlfriend?”</p><p>“She's a good woman, hell she's a great woman but I don’t love her. I love you. You are the only thing, the only person that feels right to me. I’ll tell Sammy I tried, but it didn’t work out. Which is the truth. I have been trying for an entire year, and I’ve been forcing myself to make it work. We can stay in the bunker with him. That place is huge, we can be together and<br/>
a family again.”</p><p>“What about Mick? I can’t leave him behind. He’s the one that put me back together after I was broken. And I did the same for him. Our marriage may not be real but our friendship is.”</p><p>“Then bring him too. He took care of my sister when I couldn’t be there. So I gotta thank him somehow. How much does he know? And does Sam know about your situation with Mick?”</p><p>“Mick knows everything, and he doesn’t care. I don’t judge him, and he doesn’t judge me. As for Sam, I explained almost everything. He’s even talked to Mick, they seemed to get along so far.”</p><p>Dean gives you a surprised look. “Really? He just accepts our unconventional relationship? I never expected a reaction like that, but okay. Has Sam asked why dad sent you away yet?”</p><p>“Ya, I managed to dodge it for now. But he’ll bring it up again. How have you managed to avoid answering it all this time?”</p><p>He smiles at you sheepishly. “Let’s just say my temper is ten times worse without you to reign me back in. We gotta come up with something to tell him now.”</p><p>“Let’s just keep it vague, and mostly true. We got in an argument with dad, and it turned violent because I mouthed off and disrespected him. He was finally fed up with us and said it was either you or me. I volunteered before you could so you and Sammy could stay together.”</p><p>Dean puts his hands on your face and kisses you. “Then let's go get this over with so we can be a family again.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Dean and his terrible ideas. Right?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p>CHAPTER 6</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean has the radio turned down low and he’s got his arm wrapped around you as he drives the Impala. He pulled you to the middle of the seat because you were too far away according to him. He’s humming along quietly to the music as he drives back to Lisa’s house. </p>
<p>“What are you going to say to her?”</p>
<p>He opens and closes his mouth a few times looking like a fish. “I’m still working on that part. Don't worry I'll figure something out."</p>
<p>As he pulls up to a stop sign he puts his hand on your cheek and kisses you. He keeps kissing you until you're both breathless.  "Last one, just for a little while okay?"</p>
<p>"Okay Dee." You say as you lean your head against his shoulder.</p>
<p>When he turns down the street he lives on you start to feel nervous. You feel a little bad for Lisa. Dean's probably about to break her heart. She won't understand the deep unbreakable bond you have with your twin. No one truly understands it. But you know you can't be without him again. You didn't tell him how bad things really got for you, and you don't really want to.</p>
<p>Dean pulls Baby back into the garage. He grabs your hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.</p>
<p>"Dee, what do you want me to do? Wait here or go back to my hotel?"</p>
<p>Just as he's about to answer you Lisa comes bouncing into the garage full of excitement. He gives you a look. "Hold that thought." Then he climbs out of the car. You slowly climb out also.</p>
<p>She wraps her arms around Dean, and you force yourself to keep your face neutral. "I got a surprise for you honey."</p>
<p>"Okay Lis, I'll bite. What is it?"</p>
<p>"I got you out of work tomorrow and Monday. My mom came and picked up Ben so he can stay with her for a couple days. Then I called Sam. We can all drive down to the bunker together for the weekend and have a family reunion. Sam's excited to have all of us there."</p>
<p>So much of what she just said makes you angry. She's talking as if she's part of your family and she most certainly is not.</p>
<p>"That's great Lis, and very thoughtful of you. Thank you." She smiles brightly at him from his response. She clearly doesn't know him like you because he's not the least bit excited or happy.</p>
<p>"I knew you would be happy. I'll go start packing now." She goes to give him a kiss but he turns his head and she kisses his cheek instead. Then she hurries back into the house.</p>
<p>Dean closes the door that leads into the house. He turns and sees the sad look on your face.</p>
<p>When you see the look on his face you frown. "You can't seriously be considering this."</p>
<p>"Sweetheart hear me out. I still want to stick to what we planned, but we have a small detour now. She called Sammy, he'll think it's suspicious if I suddenly break things off right after she called and start interrogating me. Let's get through this weekend. He can see with his own eyes that I’m happier with my family than here with her. Then when I bring her back home I'll tell her it's not going to work out and I need to be with my family. Then I come back to the bunker, Sam won't ask as many questions and everything will be fine. We'll be together."</p>
<p>“Dean I’m not particularly fond of her so far, but she doesn’t deserve to be jerked around. She obviously cares about you, so this isn’t fair to her.”</p>
<p>He wipes a hand down his face and takes a deep breath. “I know, you’re absolutely right. That’s why when I bring her back home I can sit down and have an actual conversation with her alone. We always agreed on never letting Sammy find out about us. I can’t really just come out and say I have the woman back that I’ve always wanted. So I’m open to suggestions if you have any better ideas.”</p>
<p>You bite your lip and look at him nervously as you think it over. He moves closer and holds your hand. You let out a sigh. "You promise it's just through the weekend?"</p>
<p>"Cross my heart baby girl."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After you and Dean hug each other for what feels like hours you drive back to your hotel. Your mind is racing. So much happened in a short period of time. You have your twin back, and will soon have your little brother back. But this plan of Dean’s you don’t feel so great about. You understand where he’s coming from. Neither of you ever wanted Sam to find out about your taboo relationship with each other out of fear he would be disgusted with both of you and never want to speak to either of you again.</p>
<p>When you get back to the hotel you kick your shoes off and groan as you face plant onto the bed next to Mick who was sitting there reading a book. He closes his book and sets it on the nightstand. “Went well did it?”</p>
<p>You roll over onto your back and can’t hold back your smile. He looks down at you and smiles back. “I’m getting mixed signals here love. How did it go?”</p>
<p>You tell him everything that happened starting from when you first arrived at Dean’s house all the way to Dean’s plan for the weekend. And you do really tell him everything. You and Mick have no secrets. Seeing how you already learned each other’s deepest and darkest secrets over a decade ago it seems silly to keep things from each other. You and Dean used to be that way but tonight you kept things from him. Things you weren’t ready to talk about.</p>
<p>Mick raises his eyebrows at you. “I told ya didn’t I? You were nervous for no reason. But I’m not so sure about that idea of his. We were already headed to Kansas after this, but bringing his girlfriend with us sounds terrible. Especially with that temper of yours. I can already tell you dislike her.”</p>
<p>You huff and roll your eyes. “I know. But I don’t know what else to do. I’ll finally have both of my brothers back and we’ll be together even further away from England. Plus that bunker is like a fortress according to Sam. So we’ll be safe if they try sending someone after us.”</p>
<p>Mick scoots down on the bed so he’s laying next to you and wraps an arm around you. “I’ve been thinking about that a lot too. If they do send someone to fetch us I don’t care, we’re not going back. I never want to go back.”</p>
<p>“No matter what we’re not going back, and we stay together. I already made it clear to both of my brothers you go where I go.”</p>
<p>Mick smiles and kisses your forehead. “Yes love, we stick together just like we always have. Now you need a shower. You smell like the leather backseat of a car.” He says teasingly to lighten the mood. You playfully smack him on the shoulder. “I do not…...Do I?” He just laughs and rolls his eyes at you. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next morning you and Mick pack your things as you wait for Dean to come pick you up. “How long is the drive to Kansas from here?” Mick asks you curiously.</p>
<p>“Almost 12 hours, but with the way Dean drives he’ll probably knock it down to 9 or 10 hours. Why?”</p>
<p>“Just thinking, and hoping it won’t be a long awkward drive since his girlfriend is coming along.”</p>
<p>You shrug your shoulders. “Worst case scenario for you would be Dean blasts the radio and you have to listen to me and him sing for 12 hours.”</p>
<p>“How about you just render me unconscious now then and save my ears from the pain you’re about to inflict.”</p>
<p>You throw a shoe at him as you laugh. “Real funny. Like you sound much better.” You’re about to throw something else but your phone goes off. It’s Dean telling you he’s parked outside. So you text him you’ll be right down. “Dean’s here. You ready?”</p>
<p>“I suppose. Is your brother going to like me? If not it really will be a long awkward drive.”</p>
<p>You walk over and give him a hug. “What’s not to like about you? And I talked about you a lot last night. He said he wanted to thank you for looking after me when he couldn’t. So I think you’ll be fine. So now are you ready?”</p>
<p>“As ready as I’ll ever be, but you’re not.” You frown at him as he gently pulls your arms from around his waist. Then he reaches behind him to grab something off the nightstand. When you see what’s in his hand you understand. He snaps the leather bracelets around your wrists. “I know you aren’t ready for anyone else to know about this. I’m just looking out for you love.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, seriously. I can’t believe I almost forgot that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After that’s taken care of Mick grabs both of your bags like the gentleman that he is and you exit the hotel together. You can’t contain your excitement when you walk outside and see Dean leaning against the Impala. His face lights up just as much as yours. He opens his arms and you run to him. When you collide into him you both wrap your arms tightly around each other. </p>
<p>“I know it’s only been like 12 hours Dee, but I missed you.”</p>
<p>“Trust me sweetheart I know. I missed you too.”</p>
<p>When you do finally release your hold on each other you realize you need to introduce Mick. “Um....Dean this is Mick….my husband. Mick meet Dean, my twin brother. And his girlfriend Lisa is sitting in the car.” </p>
<p>Dean looks at you with a guilty expression. He already forgot Lisa was sitting in the front seat. You just roll your eyes at him. Then him and Mick politely shake hands, and Mick waves hello to Lisa. She looks annoyed with Dean, but puts on a fake smile waving back at Mick. Dean goes and opens the trunk to throw your bags inside. You assumed he had taken all the hunting gear out. Well you assumed wrong.</p>
<p>“I thought you weren’t hunting anymore….”</p>
<p>“I haven’t, but it just didn’t feel right to take all this stuff out of Baby. And who knows, might come in handy one day.” He tosses the bags inside and glances over at Mick who’s waiting near the side of the car. “What’s with the suit? He knows we’re going to a bunker…..in Kansas right?”</p>
<p>You smack him playfully on the shoulder. “Yes, go easy on him. The British Men of Letters have a dress code. That’s just what he’s used to. Give him some time to acclimate to his new surroundings.” Dean rolls his eyes. “Okay fine. Oh, I talked to Lisa more last night so she shouldn’t be trying to interrogate us today…..hopefully.” Before you can respond he does a quick look around and leans down so he’s hidden by the door to the trunk. Then he pulls you down to him quickly crashing his lips into yours. It’s quick and you want more, but obviously not a good time. He smiles at you mischievously when he pulls away. “I’ve been wanting to do that since the second I laid eyes on you baby girl.”</p>
<p>You pull him back for one more quick kiss. “Me too.” You say with a smile and then climb into the backseat of the car. Mick follows your lead and climbs in next to you. Then you remember what you were doing the last time you were in this backseat and you can’t help but smile. Mick leans next to your ear and whispers so only you can hear him. “Naughty girl.”</p>
<p>You bite your lip to try and contain your smile. Dean climbs in and winks at you in the rear view mirror as he starts the car. “Okay off to Kansas we go.” He says slightly sarcastically as he speeds onto the road. </p>
<p>He looks up at you in the mirror when he gets onto the highway. “So sis, looks like you were really slumming it at that fancy hotel back there.”</p>
<p>You roll your eyes at him. “Shut up. I feel out of place staying in nice hotels like that. But that’s all Mick has ever stayed in. I didn’t want to completely traumatize him with the motels we grew up in. It’s his first time in the U.S. so I thought I’d ease him into it.”</p>
<p>Mick chuckles and shakes his head at you. “Thank you love. But it can’t be that bad….can it?”</p>
<p>Both you and Dean burst into laughter. “Oh sweetheart, he has no idea the horrors we’ve seen. Remember that one motel in Omaha?”</p>
<p>“Oh god. It still makes my skin crawl just thinking about it. Our dad rented a room and dumped us without going inside. Poor Sammy was leaning against the wall as me and Dean checked the room. The wall was rotted and he fell inside, got covered in cockroaches. Me and Dean had to pull him out as he was screaming hysterically and swat the bugs off him. We immediately left and ran to the junkyard down the road and slept in empty cars for two days.”</p>
<p>Both Mick and Lisa have horrified looks on their faces as you and Dean laugh about it. Yep that was your childhood. Lisa looks at Dean like he’s lost his mind. “How old were you?”</p>
<p>“Um….I think me and (Y/N) were 13 so Sammy would have been 9.”</p>
<p>Mick leans into you as he puts his arm over the back seat and looks at you. “Well thank you for saving me from experiencing something that horribly disgusting. Very thoughtful of you love.”</p>
<p>Lisa turns around in her seat with a genuine smile. “You two are cute together. How long have you been married?” You notice in the mirror that Dean is no longer smiling, and now looks irritated. Since you were busy staring at Dean, Mick answers for you.</p>
<p>“Been married 10 years now.” </p>
<p>Lisa’s eyes go wide. “You got married when you were what, 20? That’s impressive you’re still together. A lot of people that marry young don’t last. Were you two just so in love you couldn’t wait?” Dean now just looks flat out pissed off. “Lis give them a break. They don’t need the third degree this early in the morning.”</p>
<p>Mick just shrugs it off. “That’s alright Dean. (Y/N) is my best friend. So that’s why our relationship works so well.” That puts a smile on your face, because it's the truth. The two of you have only made it this far because of your strong friendship.</p>
<p>Dean turns the radio up after that to keep Lisa from asking anymore questions. The two of you keep looking at each other in the mirror having your own silent conversations just like you used to. A couple hours into the drive Dean pulls over at a gas station that has a diner next to it. Lisa gives him a questioning look. “This thing needs gas already?”</p>
<p>“Baby is not a thing, and she still has gas. (Y/N) is hungry and needs the bathroom.” She looks between the two of you looking even more confused. “She never said anything Dean.”</p>
<p>You can see Dean is losing his patience. So you put your hand on his shoulder to calm him down. “Me and Dean for as long as we can remember can have conversations without actually talking. We can look at each other and just know what the other is thinking or trying to say with their eyes. I was afraid after being apart for so long we wouldn’t be able to do it anymore, but thankfully I was wrong.” Dean squeezes your hand that’s on his shoulder and looks significantly calmer. </p>
<p>“Come on Dee, they have pie!”</p>
<p>Dean perks up “Pie!” Then he fumbles with the door handle trying to hurry out of the car.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Inside the diner you sit inside a booth with Mick and across from Dean. The two of you keep playfully kicking each other's legs under the table. Neither you or Dean even look at the menu. Lisa looks between the two of you once again. “You guys aren’t going to look at the menu?”</p>
<p>Mick chuckles. “She already knows what she wants. She’s been eating the same thing since we landed in the States.”</p>
<p>“Well I missed fatty unhealthy American fast food. It’s not the same in England. I will eat as many cheeseburgers as I damn well please” Dean puts his scarred right hand up and high fives your scarred left hand. “That’s my girl. Great minds think alike.” You smile at him and squeeze his hand.</p>
<p>Throughout the meal you and Dean continue your silent conversations as you smile at each other. Lisa rolls her eyes in annoyance. “Are you guys doing that strange twin talking thing right now?”</p>
<p>Both of you just nod your head, not phased by her annoyed tone. She huffs. “Well what are you talking about?”</p>
<p>“Apple Pie.” You both say in unison. Dean obviously isn’t alone in his love for pie. Mick finds what the two of you are doing funny, Lisa not so much. So after you enjoy your pie you excuse yourself to the restroom before you hit the road again. </p>
<p>Dean gets up to pay and then quickly heads toward the bathroom as well. The second you come out you’re being pulled through a side door that leads outside. Dean shoves you up against the wall and kisses you. He slips his tongue in and thoroughly devours your mouth. You start rutting against each other as you make out against the dirty wall. Neither of you break the kiss until you absolutely need air. </p>
<p>Dean breath ghosts across your lips as he talks. “This weekend is going to be even harder than I thought. It’s killing me to keep my hands off you.”</p>
<p>“I know Dee, trust me the feeling is mutual. But we should get back.”</p>
<p>Dean rests his forehead against your shoulder. “I know, but I don’t wanna.” You lift his head and kiss him once more. “Come on we gotta get back on the road. And can you go a little easier on Lisa? I don’t like the questions much either, but she’s just curious. And you sit there looking like you're about to stroke out. Simmer down.”</p>
<p>“Ya I know. I’ll try.” He says with a pout.</p>
<p>Once you're back on the road you fall asleep about halfway into the drive. You’re laying across the backseat with your head in Mick’s lap. You had taken your sweater off because you were warm and used it as a pillow. Dean glares into the mirror every so often as he sees you sleeping soundly with Mick absentmindedly running his fingers through your hair.</p>
<p>Lisa starts to notice Dean’s frequent glaring and eventually turns around to see what he’s looking at. Since you only have a tank top on at the moment with the angle you’re laying at she can see some of the scarring on your back. Lisa gasps and puts a hand over her mouth which gets the attention of both Dean and Mick. “Oh my god what happened to her?”</p>
<p>Mick puts his arm over you protectively to cover your scars. Dean lets out a sigh. “Don’t worry about it Lisa, she already told me about it.”</p>
<p>“But Dean, it looks painful.”</p>
<p>“Lisa let it go. Just drop it.”</p>
<p>Mick sighs to himself, he had a feeling it was going to be a long awkward drive. Then you startle awake after you hear Dean’s raised voice. You sit up and rub the sleep from your eyes. “What’s wrong Dee?”</p>
<p>“Nothing sweetheart, sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up.” </p>
<p>You can feel the tension in the air and give Mick a questioning look. He gently taps a finger on your back and hands you your sweater to cover yourself back up. You immediately figure out what he’s trying to tell you and quickly put your sweater back on. </p>
<p>You look outside to take in your surroundings and realize you must have slept a long time. “Are we already almost there?”</p>
<p>Dean smiles at you in the mirror. “Why yes we are. You wanna text Sammy and tell him we’ll be there in about a half hour.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Reunited with Sammy finally! And some sneaking around with Dean.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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<p>
  
</p>
<p>CHAPTER 7</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean turns down a gravel road that feels like it goes on forever. Eventually a large run-down looking mostly brick building comes into view. You can hardly contain your excitement, practically bouncing in the seat. You missed your little brother so much. </p>
<p>You jump out the second Dean stops the car. You hear the sound of a heavy metal door creaking and a tall man with long hair steps outside. “Oh my god Sammy!”</p>
<p>“(Y/N)!”</p>
<p>Sam holds his arms open as you run to him. He picks you up giving you a bear hug as he lifts you off the ground. He’s so much taller that you, your feet dangle in the air. When he sets you down you look at each other with glossy eyes. </p>
<p>"I missed you so much sis."</p>
<p>“I missed you too Sammy. My little brother isn’t so little anymore.” You look at Dean who was making his way towards the two of you and you point at him. “Ha! I told you if you kept making fun of his size he was going to be bigger than you one day.”</p>
<p>Sam laughs and Dean rolls his eyes. “Ya ya, that’s why I didn’t mention his sasquatch size.”</p>
<p>You wave Mick over so he goes and stands next to you. "I know you talked on the phone but Sammy I'd like you to formally meet Mick. And Mick this is my now not so little, younger brother Sam." They shake hands and say hello to each other.</p>
<p>Sam waves to Lisa and says hello as she climbs out of the car. Then you grab Sam's hand. "Okay show me this fortress you've been living in."</p>
<p>After Sam shows you and Mick around the bunker the boys bring all the overnight bags in.</p>
<p>Mick hands you one of your bags to remind you of something. "Oh Sammy I have something for you." Dean makes a pouty face as you dig through your bag. "You didn't give me anything." You lift an eyebrow and look him in the eyes. He got you, and some fun in the backseat of the Impala. When he understands what you're trying to say he winks and gives you a bright smile. </p>
<p>You pull a large book out of your bag and walk back over to Sam. You sit down next to him at a large table that has a map on it. He calls it the war room.</p>
<p>"So even though I didn't know if or when I would ever see you again I collected things over the years for you. This is full of spells and lore I picked up from the men of letters. Things we never had or knew about. Like a cure for a werewolf bite. This stuff will come in handy especially since you basically run the hunter information hub."</p>
<p>He excitedly flips it open and scans through the pages. His face lights up. "Seriously? This stuff is amazing. Thank you."</p>
<p>Dean sits down next to you. "You were hunting over there? You didn't tell me that."</p>
<p>Lisa frowns as she also sits down at the table. "How did that not come up? You guys were gone for hours. What did you talk about?"</p>
<p>You can see Mick holding back a smirk so you shoot him a glare before you turn back to Dean and while avoiding Lisa's question. "I wasn't hunting the whole time. They had me doing different things."</p>
<p>He raises his eyebrows at you. "Like?"</p>
<p>"Okay well first they tried sending me to the Kendricks Academy. It's a school for the men of letters. They teach bookworms the lore and spells, and study monsters. But that was the problem, they were just bookworms who never got their hands dirty a day in their life. So I did everything possible to get kicked out."</p>
<p>Sam perks up. "So it was like the men of letters version of Hogwarts?"</p>
<p>You start laughing as you see Mick roll his eyes. Sam and Dean look between the two of you. You point at Mick. "That's exactly what I said to him when I found out about it. He actually graduated from there. But I think you would have liked it there Sammy."</p>
<p>Dean smirks at Mick. "So Harry Potter over there has never had his hands dirty?"</p>
<p>You playfully smack him on the shoulder. "Yes he has. I trained him myself, so I assure you he can hunt. With his knowledge and my experience we were a pretty good team. So after I got kicked out of Hogwarts they made me work with their hunters. To them it was a demotion though. They see hunters as dogs over there. They point, we obey and shoot. Well I got in trouble again for letting monsters go that weren't bad monsters. They believe all monsters should die, that there's no such thing as a good monster."</p>
<p>Both of your brothers look appalled. You've all come across plenty of friendly monsters that don't actually hurt people. Dean shakes his head. "I can't believe what assholes those people are. No offense Mick."</p>
<p>Mick puts his hands up. "None taken mate, we are in agreement on that subject. I most certainly am not one of them."</p>
<p>Dean puts his hand on yours on top of the table. "What happened after that? You stop hunting?"</p>
<p>You bite your lip and look at Mick. You both were broken for disobeying. Not just while hunting but in what should have been your personal lives. You take a deep breath and look back at Dean. "I already told you the next part Dee."</p>
<p>You can tell when he understands, and he squeezes your hand. Sam also knows some of it, but you gave Dean more of the details. Lisa looks like she's about to ask a question but Dean shoots her a look and shakes his head. </p>
<p>You clear your throat and shake your head. "So eventually they sent me back to the Kendricks Academy and I actually utilized the tools they had and learned some things. Then we hunted off and on throughout Europe over the years."</p>
<p>Sam cocks his head to the side like he's thinking. You can practically hear the gears turning in his head. "If they let you travel to Europe why couldn't you come here sooner?"</p>
<p>Again you turn your eyes back to Mick. He leans on his arms on the table. He answers for you. "We weren't allowed, and were never alone when we traveled. Not until recently. That deviously smart sister of yours racked up favors from the monsters she saved. She had fake passports, ID's, and credit cards made for us. We had a small window of opportunity to flee and took it."</p>
<p>Lisa again has a face full of questions, but doesn’t get a chance to say anything. Dean slaps his hands on the table. "I think that's enough of the heavy stuff for tonight. All that matters is we have you back. How about some dinner and some beers."</p>
<p>Sam gives you a mischievous smirk. Just like when you were kids. "I almost forgot I ordered pizza when you texted me you were close. Got a couple veggie pizzas in the kitchen."</p>
<p>Dean perked up when he heard pizza then changed to disgust when he heard veggie pizza. Both you and Sam laugh at him. You shake your head at Dean. "I can't believe you still fell for that, just like when we were kids. He's messing with you."</p>
<p>Dean glares as Sam. "Bitch."</p>
<p>Sam smirks at him. "Jerk."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All of you sit down together eating the pizza Sam picked up and drinking beer. You're laughing and joking with your brothers. You push the sleeves of your sweater up as you start getting warm. Sam sees the leather bracelets on your wrists and gets a curious look on his face. There’s different symbols and sigils carved into them. He runs his fingers across the carvings and your body goes stiff. Sam doesn’t seem to notice. “What are these?”</p>
<p>Mick comes to your rescue since he knows you’re practically frozen in fear. Fear of your family discovering what the bracelets are hiding underneath. “I made her those a few years ago. They are different protection sigils and wardings.” Sam, ever so curious, wants to know more. “Like what? I’ve never seen some of these before.”</p>
<p>You finally snap out of your paralyzed state. After taking a deep breath you start pointing to different symbols to explain them. “This one keeps sirens, psychics, or any type of telepath from reading your mind. This one protects you from witches harming you with their magic. This is a good one, it's so ghosts can’t possess you. I have all these in the book I gave you.”</p>
<p>Sam’s face lights up again, which makes you happy. You missed him so much. “This stuff is so awesome. I can’t wait to go through that book.” Dean mutters ‘nerd’ under his breath. But you and Sam just ignore him.</p>
<p>After a while you start feeling tired. You want to spend more time with your brothers but it's getting hard to keep your eyes open. Mick is the first to notice. “You ready for bed love? You look ready to pass out.” You just grunt in agreement. </p>
<p>Sam knows you and Mick were forced to get married. He knows most of the story, but you left the parts relating to you and Dean out. That being said, Mick was still all you had for the last 13 years and you’ve slept next to each other almost every single night. You have nightmares if you sleep alone, and so does he. You also explained that to Sam, and that Lisa doesn’t know anything about your relationship with Mick. Which is why he hasn’t brought it up.</p>
<p>Sam looks at Mick. “I have a room made up for you guys. I’ll show you where it is.” Dean almost spits his beer out. “You’re sharing a room?” </p>
<p>Lisa looks at him like he’s being ridiculous. “That’s what married couples tend to do Dean. They sleep in the same bed.” Part of you sort of feels bad she doesn’t understand what’s going on. But on the other hand it's really not her business. It's your private life and you aren’t obligated to tell her anything you don’t want to. </p>
<p>You turn to Dean and give him a small smile, and he can’t help but smile back at you. He was totally thinking about sneaking into your room tonight. But now he knows he can’t. And you try not to dwell on the fact that he’ll be sleeping next to Lisa instead of you. He gives you a hug and kisses your forehead. Once again neither of you want to let go of each other. You would love just to curl up in bed with him just like you used to, and you know he feels the same. But you force yourselves to pull apart. “See you in the morning sis.” You nod your head. “Night Dee.”</p>
<p>Sam shows you to the room he had ready for you and tells you goodnight with another bear hug. You can’t believe your little Sammy got so big. When you get into the room you practically face plant on to the bed. Mick chuckles at you as he climbs into bed with you and pulls you to him. You lay with your head on his chest and he wraps his arms around you. “Today went pretty well with all things considered. Don’t ya think love?”</p>
<p>“Ya I got my brothers back. That’s all I care about. That and we’re safe here.” The two of you drift off to sleep shortly after that. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When you wake again you can’t tell whether it’s light or dark outside since the bunker has no windows. You look over at the clock on the nightstand. It’s still the middle of the night. You’ve only been asleep for a couple hours, but you have to go to the bathroom. All that beer you drank caught up with you. After you use the restroom you decide you need some water. So you quietly tiptoe down the hallways until you find the kitchen. </p>
<p>You lean with your elbows on the counter as you drink the glass of water and think about the last couple days. It’s still hard for you to believe after all this time you’re finally reunited with your family. It still feels surreal to you. Being so lost in your own thoughts you don’t realize you're not alone in the kitchen until arms are being wrapped around your middle. You instantly know who it is and it puts a smile on your face. “What are you doing up Dee?”</p>
<p>“I should ask you the same thing sweetheart. I’m still a light sleeper, so I heard someone walking around. I was hoping it was you.” He sweeps your hair over one shoulder to expose your neck to him. Then he starts leaving a trail of soft kisses along your neck and shoulder. You’re only wearing a tank top and sleep shorts. The cool air mixed with the thrill of him kissing you makes your skin break out in goosebumps.</p>
<p>You tilt your head to the side more to give him better access. He nips your skin teasingly but not enough to leave a mark. “I really hate not being able to sleep next to you baby girl.” He breaths out against your skin. </p>
<p>“I know Dee, me too.”</p>
<p>He unwraps his arms from your waist and slips his hands under your top. He rubs his callused hands up your body and doesn’t stop until he reaches your breasts. You bite your lip as you suck in a breath through your teeth to hold back a moan as he caresses your breasts and gently pinches your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. He still knows all the right ways to touch you.</p>
<p>He’s only wearing thin pajama pants and a tank top. You can feel him getting hard as he pulls your back closer to his front. He removes one hand from your breast and slides it down your belly slipping it inside your underwear and between your thighs. You gasp as you feel him sliding his fingers through your wet folds. He nibbles on your ear and whispers. “Good to know I still make you so wet you soak through your panties. You make me so hard it almost hurts, and only you do that to me.”</p>
<p>“Only you for you Dean. Only you can make me feel good.” You gasp out.</p>
<p>He slips his two fingers inside you. You’re so wet they meet almost no resistance as he pushes them in. He slides them in and out of you nice and slow as he continues kissing your neck and caressing your breast with his other hand. You arch your back pressing your ass against his hard cock making him gasp. “You want more baby girl? You want your brother’s cock inside you?”</p>
<p>His dirty talk turns you on more. You’re practically biting your tongue to keep yourself quiet. “Yes. Please Dee.” You whimper out. He moves his lips from your neck back up to your ear. “Not until you come on my fingers. I wanna make you come twice.” That makes you shiver, a thrill of excitement runs down your spine. You let yourself lean back against his chest and savor the way you are almost completely enveloped by his body. Enjoy all the ways he’s touching you. </p>
<p>He begins moving his fingers faster. You turn your head to the side and back so he can finally press his lips to yours. He swallows down your moans as he explores your mouth with his tongue. You have difficulty maintaining the kiss feeling overwhelmed from all the sensations you're feeling. He smiles against your lip. “You want one more?” You manage to gasp out a ‘yes’ against his lips. He slips a third finger inside you and you can hear the obscene sounds being made from the wetness between your thighs. He knows your close as your breathing starts to stutter. So he pays special attention to your clit making your eyes roll back. You bite your lip almost painfully to silence your moan as your orgasm washes over you and you come all over his fingers. He stops before you become over sensitive.</p>
<p>"Oh baby girl I love watching you come."</p>
<p>You tilt your head up to capture his soft lips again. You suck his bottom lip and press your ass against his still very hard cock. "Please Dee. I want you so bad."</p>
<p>He gives you a mischievous smile. "Say it sweetheart, and I'll give you what you want." </p>
<p>He wants you to beg for it. When you were younger sometimes he liked hearing you beg. But to be fair you did the same thing to him sometimes. “I want my brother’s fat cock inside me. Please fuck me Dean.” He lets out a growl pressing his lips against your neck. Then he slides your shorts and underwear down. “Put your hands on the counter baby girl.”</p>
<p>You lean forward with your hands flat against the counter and arch your back pushing your ass into Dean. He frees his achingly hard cock and you feel him pressing into your entrance. Then he puts one hand on your hip and the other on your shoulder. He pulls you to him, pushing himself inside you in one swift motion. Both of you choke back your moans. </p>
<p>He starts pounding into you hard and fast. As he thrusts into you he also pulls you back against him at the same time. He’s gripping you so tightly there will surely be bruises tomorrow. But those are the kind of marks you don’t mind having when they’re from him.  </p>
<p>You know this is going to be quick, especially since he cock was practically throbbing before he started fucking you. It’s getting hard to keep quiet as he keeps hitting that right spot over and over. You can tell he’s having a hard time keeping quiet too. </p>
<p>A few more hard thrusts hitting that sweet spot has you coming a second time. You want to cry out so he knows how good he makes you feel, but you manage to keep it back. He feels your walls tightening and spasming around him. His thrusts slow down and stutter as he reaches his own orgasm and spills his come inside you. </p>
<p>He leans forward draping his body over yours with his hands on the counter and his face pressed against your neck. “You feel so good sweetheart. I wish we could stay like this.”</p>
<p>“Me too Dee. I love you.”</p>
<p>“I love you too (Y/N).”</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some family feels. And of course more sneaking around.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>CHAPTER 8</p><p> </p><p>When you wake for the second time that morning you wake with a smile on your face as you remember your midnight rondevu with Dean. You can’t wait to get through this weekend so that he’ll be all yours again. You should probably feel bad he’s technically cheating on Lisa. But Dean is yours and has always been yours. So you can’t quite muster up the guilty feelings you know you should be having.</p><p>You quietly roll out of bed, careful not to wake Mick. Then you throw on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. You decided to surprise your brothers by making breakfast just like you used to. The bunker is quiet, so you assume everyone must still be asleep.</p><p>When you get into the kitchen you turn your iPod on low so you can listen to some music as you make pancakes. When ‘Wayward Son’ starts playing you can’t help but sing along. You sing to yourself as you pull the ingredients out of the cabinets. About halfway through the song you sense another presence so you look around until you spot the other person. Sammy is standing in the doorway to the kitchen with glossy eyes. “Sammy what’s wrong? Did I wake you up?”</p><p>You hear him sniffle a little as he shakes his head. “Um...no it’s just...I haven’t been able to listen to that song since dad sent you away. You used to sing it to me when I would wake up scared after having a nightmare, or if I was sick in bed. It always made me feel better. But after you were gone it just made me sad. I missed hearing you sing it.”</p><p>Now your eyes are watering. “I can’t believe you still remember all that. It made me sad too because I missed you, but also happy to think about the good memories.”</p><p>He steps into the kitchen and pulls you to him for a hug. You remember when he was so small you could rest your chin on top of his head. Now it's the other way around. With his chin on your head he talks quietly. “Even though you're my sister you felt like my mom too. When you would sing that to me it felt like a mom singing to her child. I just missed you so much (Y/N).”</p><p>You pull away from him so you can see his face. Both of you try drying your watery eyes. “I missed you too Sammy. You wanna help me make breakfast, just like you used to?”</p><p>He nods his head as he smiles. “Ya, I’d like that.”</p><p>As you put him to work you replay the song one more time and sing along with it. The two of you make breakfast together. Sam gets flour everywhere just like he used to. You laugh and have fun, trying to move past the sad tears from earlier. </p><p>Like clockwork just as you and Sam get breakfast finished and start putting it on plates Dean strolls in. He walks up behind you and wraps his arms around you. Thankfully that’s not a weird sight for Sam to see. Dean would do things like that when you were younger also. So he just smiles at the two of you. </p><p>You chuckle at Dean when you hear his belly growl. “Good morning to you too Dee.” You say teasingly. A small laugh escapes him. He has his chin resting on your shoulder. “Mornin’ sweetheart. Breakfast smells good. I missed your cooking. Huh Sammy?”</p><p>“Definitely.”</p><p>You hear Lisa come into the kitchen, and you assumed Dean would release his hold on you. Well you assumed wrong. He keeps his current position as you make him a plate identical to yours. “Breakfast smells good.” Lisa mumbles out. </p><p>You can’t turn your head since Dean’s face is in the way. “Help yourself Lisa. I’m finished here.” Then you hold Dean’s plate up for him to take. He gives you one more squeeze and then removes his arms from your middle. He kisses your cheek. “Thank you sweetheart.” Again the affection Dean shows you is normal for Sam. But Lisa looks a bit taken back by how close you two are. </p><p>The three of you go sit down at the table. Sam sits next to you and Dean across from you. When they take the first bite. Sam makes an appropriate sound of approval for how good the food tastes. Dean on the other hand, not so much. His eyes roll back and he groans, practically making sex noises. Similar to the noises he was trying to stifle last night. Sam looks at Dean in amusement. “I know it’s good, but calm down Dean.”</p><p>Dean still has horrible table manners, but you still find it adorable. He starts talking with his mouth full of food. “I almost forgot how good her cooking tastes. It’s the best.” Sam chuckles. “That’s one trait you definitely didn’t inherit Dean.” Then Sam looks at you. “Once he made me macaroni with marshmallows.”</p><p>You almost choke on your food. “Dean? Seriously? That’s disgusting.” Dean smiles at you with a mouth full of pancakes and shrugs his shoulders. Shortly after that Lisa comes and sits down at the table next to Dean. Sam strikes up a conversation with her, which you tune out. You and Dean are looking at each other having one of your silent conversations. You lay your left hand on the table with your palm up and Dean puts his right hand on top of yours. He absentmindedly traces your scar with his middle finger. </p><p>Sam’s voice pulls you and Dean away from your silent conversation. “I forgot you guys did that.” Both you and Dean frown at him. Lisa rolls her eyes. “It’s weird.” </p><p>Dean’s frown only deepens. “Do what? What’s weird?”</p><p>Sam snorts out a laugh. “That silent twin talking staring thing you guys do. I don’t think it’s weird per se. It was pretty normal when we were growing up. It’s just been so long I forgot about it.”</p><p>You and Dean just shrug your shoulders in response. Lisa sees Dean tracing the scar on your hand and gets a look on her face you aren’t sure how to decipher. She looks at Sam. “Do you know the story behind that scar? Dean won’t tell me.” Dean whips his head toward Lisa with a glare on his face. Sam looks at what she’s talking about, and you can tell he’s trying to remember. He cocks his head to the side. “Actually, not really. You guys just said you were with dad and there was an accident. What’s so secret about it?”</p><p>You don’t mind telling Sam. It’s not a great story because your dad did it. It was more the private moment between you and Dean that the two of you kept to yourselves. Something only the two of you know about. Dean turns his head back towards you, his frown disappears when he locks eyes with you. After a couple beats of silence he lets out a sigh and shakes his head. He wants to keep your private moment private.</p><p>So you give Sam the shortened version of what happened. You’re dad’s a dick and ran a knife through both of your hands. Sam laughs humorlessly. “I can see why you didn’t tell me. I already hated dad enough back then. But I’m also not the least bit surprised he did that.”</p><p>Mick finally rolls out of bed and joins you. Dean teases him as he sleepily walks into the room. “How nice of you to finally grace us with your presence Harry Potter.” You kick Dean under the table and give him a glare. “Ouch. What was that for?”</p><p>“Don’t be a jerk and don’t call him Harry Potter. It’s a different time zone for us. I’m just used to not sleeping much.”</p><p>Mick chuckles as he sits down next to you with the plate you already had ready for him. He kisses your temple. “Morning love, breakfast looks lovely. Thank you.”</p><p>Once Mick wakes up enough Sam strikes up a conversation with him. He’s fascinated by the whole Kendricks Academy thing. Dean looks between the two of them as they go back and forth. Then he looks at you. “They’re like nerd soulmates.”</p><p>You can't help but laugh at that, because it appears to be true.</p><p> </p><p>After breakfast you go take a shower. You’re not a huge fan of the shower set up in the bunker. This place was built by men for men. So it's like a locker room, but there’s individual little cubicles for each shower. </p><p>You turn on the hot water, and decide not to let your scars bother you today. After the long drive and your late night with Dean your muscles are a little stiff. As you enjoy the hot spray you think you hear a noise so you peek your head out, but you don’t see anything. So you move back under the hot spray. </p><p>All of a sudden a naked body presses up against you. Dean puts his hands on your face and kisses you as he slowly pushes you against the wall. Your eyes go wide when he pulls away. “Dee what are you doing in here? We’re going to get caught.”</p><p>He gives you a devious smile. “Your fake husband is my new best friend. He’s keeping Lisa and Sammy occupied. But I can leave if you want.” As he says the last part he slips a hand between your wet thighs and slowly rubs your clit. You bite your lip to hold back a moan. </p><p>“You’re insatiable Dean, but so am I. I always want you.”</p><p>He lets out a growl as he lifts you by your thighs firmly pinning your body between him and the wall. You slip your hand between your bodies grabbing his rock hard cock lining him up at your entrance. He quickly pushes all the way inside you in own quick motion. Both of you let out a quiet moan. “This is going to be quick baby girl. Sorry, I just had to have you.”</p><p>“Just fuck me Dean.” </p><p>You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him to you until your lips connect. Then he starts pounding into you fast and hard. You swallow down each other's moans until it gets too difficult to continue kissing. As he slams back into you repeatedly you roll your hips to meet his thrusts. </p><p>“Touch yourself baby girl. We gotta be quick.” Dean rasps out. That means he’s close, but he won’t let himself come until you do. You keep one arm wrapped around him and with the other you slide your hand down between your connected bodies and rub your clit like he asked. It doesn’t take long. You bite your lip trying to quiet yourself. Your eyes roll back as your orgasm washes over you. Dean lets out another groan and slams into you with extra force as he spills his come inside you. </p><p>As you both come down from your highs Dean goes back to kissing you slowly and intimately. You don’t want him to stop. You love it when he kisses you like this while you’re still connected to each other. After one last kiss Dean leans back and looks into your eyes. “I don’t want to, but I gotta set you down now sweetheart. I need to get back.”</p><p>You give him another kiss and then give him the okay to set you down. Then he reluctantly sneaks back out. You’re already sick of this sneaking around. Hiding it from your little brother is one thing, but Lisa being here is making things twice as difficult. But you definitely owe Mick one. You are also very thankful Dean had a one track mind in the shower and didn’t notice the scars on your wrists. That was a close one. Too close.</p><p>After you’re freshly showered and dressed you go find your brothers. You can hear their voices but you hear the voice of another man, and it’s not Mick. It’s a deep gravelly voice. When you turn the corner to enter the war room you find your brothers standing next to a very handsome man with dark hair, blue eyes and a trench coat. </p><p>Dean smiles when he sees you. “There you are. (Y/N) I have someone I want you to meet. This is…..”</p><p>You cut him off before he can finish the sentence. “Castiel.”</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Cas is in some hot water now.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>CHAPTER 9</p><p> </p><p>Your brothers are staring at you in disbelief. And their confusion only deepens when you walk across the room and hug the trench coat wearing angel. Cas hugs you back awkwardly like he doesn’t know what to do and gives you a tiny shy smile. When you release the angel you turn around and you can see anger brewing on Dean’s face. </p><p>“(Y/N), how do you know Cas?”</p><p>Mick is sitting at the table watching and gets a worried look on his face. You take a deep breath. “Um...it was about two years ago I think. I was having a rough patch and was going to make a rash decision to try and flee England without a plan. Castiel appeared one day and told me I couldn’t go to you yet because of the apocalypse and that you two were in the middle of it. Basically I would have been a bargaining chip for the angels to use against you. So Cas warded me and Mick from angels and said I could find you as soon as you stopped the apocalypse.”</p><p>Dean storms across the room with fire in his eyes. He grabs Cas by the trench coat and shoves him harshly up against the wall. “You knew the whole fucking time I had a twin sister and where the fuck she was?! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?! I could have had her back two years ago!”</p><p>Cas opens his mouth to speak but Dean slams him against the wall again. You rush over to Dean and put your hand on his shoulder. “Dean stop. Let him talk.” He slowly turns his head towards you, the anger still evident on his face. “And why didn’t you tell me you knew Cas when you asked me about the mark on my shoulder?”</p><p>“I didn’t know Cas was the angel that saved you. He didn’t tell me that. I only talked to him that one time, and he promised me he would watch over you until I could see you again.” </p><p>He seems satisfied with your answer, but he’s still very angry with the angel. You grab both his arms and pull him off Cas. He doesn’t fight you but he glares daggers at Cas. “Start talking angel.” He grits out.</p><p>Cas has a remorseful look on his face. “Yes Dean I knew you had a twin sister. I did not tell you her whereabouts because you would have just put her in danger. The angels would have used her to make you do what they wanted. Then we may have ended up losing our battle against Lucifer and Michael. After I warded her I had no way to find her. Then I was called back to heaven so I regretfully didn’t get a chance to tell you what I knew. But she still found her way back to you safely isn’t that what matters?”</p><p>Dean lets out an almost scary humorless laugh. “Regretfully didn’t get a chance. Seriously Cas? I’d punch you in your stupid face right now if it wouldn’t break my fucking hand. How dare you keep my family away from me. Some friend you turned out to be.”</p><p>You put your hands on Dean’s face and make him look you in the eyes. “Yes I wish I could have been reunited with both of you sooner. I know what you boys had to go through to lock Lucifer back in his cage. So answer me truthfully. If Cas had told you where I was would you have stayed and fought the devil or come found me and let the world burn?” </p><p>He doesn’t need to answer you out loud; he tells you with his eyes. You would both walk through hellfire to get to each other. He would have dropped everything to come find you. “That’s what I thought Dee. So even though it took us a little longer, maybe it needed to happen this way. Yes Cas should have told you after you locked the devil up but he wasn’t wrong in not telling you in the beginning. And he protected me from other angels, that’s gotta count for something.”</p><p>Sam crosses his arms over his chest. He’s been quiet this whole time. “Dean I hate to admit it but she’s right. But Cas you should have told us before you went back to Heaven. That was over a year ago.”</p><p>Lisa suddenly appears in the room. “What did I miss? Is everything alright?”</p><p>Cas cocks his head to the side and frowns. “I must say I am surprised to see her here.” Mick tries shaking his head subtly at the angel. Lisa frowns back at Cas. “Why? What is that supposed to mean?”</p><p>Cas stutters awkwardly. “I mean I just thought there were only Winchesters here, aside from Mick over there. And I haven’t formally met you before.” Dean went back to glaring at Cas but kept hold of your hands as you stand in front of him. He is terrible at introductions. You nudge him not so subtly. He lets out an annoyed sigh. “Lisa that’s Cas. The asshole lying angel of the lord.”</p><p>“Dean I apologize. I was wrong for not telling you before I left. For that I am truly sorry.” You can hear the sincerity in the poor angel's voice. But Dean doesn’t want to hear it. He squeezes your hand, and pulls you along with him. “You can take that apology and shove it up your feathered ass. We’re going for a beer run.” </p><p>He doesn’t even say goodbye to Lisa as he brushes past her. He in fact doesn’t say anything else at all. He just drags you to the Impala with him. After he starts the car he slams his hands on the steering wheel. “Fuck!”</p><p>“Dean, what’s actually upsetting you the most? I understand you’re mad, but you seem overly mad.”</p><p>He presses his forehead against his hands on the steering wheel and sighs. “Why do our lives have to be so epically fucked up and complicated? Can nothing go smoothly for us? If Cas would have told me about you we wouldn’t be stuck in this fucking situation with Lisa and Sammy right now.” You scoot over in the seat so that your leg is touching his and pry his right hand off the steering wheel lacing his fingers with yours. “We can’t change the past, and I’m here with you now. So how about you start driving so you can cool off and go find somewhere that we can have some pie?”</p><p>He looks at your joined hands then to your face with a small smile. He leans down and kisses you softly and then starts driving like you asked. You lean your head on his shoulder and just listen to the soothing rumbling sounds of the Impala.</p><p>After about an hour of driving Dean stops at a small diner. He pulls you out of the car with him and looks around. "No one around knows who we are." Then he puts both of his hands on your face and presses you up against the car as he kisses you. You hesitate at first, until you realize he's right and kiss him back like you do when you're alone. When he breaks the kiss he takes your hand and laces your fingers together. The two of you enter the diner hand in hand. </p><p>Dean's mood significantly changes as you sit there together eating pie for lunch. He leans in and kisses you every so often. Happy to not be hiding for once in your lives. At one point an old married couple stops next to your table. The sweet old lady smiles at you. “You two remind me of my husband and myself when we were young and in love. How long have you been together?”</p><p>Dean kind of freezes, not sure how to respond. You smile back at her kindly. “We’ve known eachother since we were kids, grew up together.” She pats Dean on the shoulder and smiles some more at both of you. “That’s when you know it’s meant to be, when you’ve been together that long and still look at each other like that. Take care of each other now.”</p><p>‘Yes ma’am.” Dean says with a small smile, he finally snapped out of his frozen state. When they walk away he turns his head back to you. You just shrug your shoulders. “She’s not wrong, and like you said no one knows who we are.”</p><p>“I guess there’s no reason why we couldn’t live out in the open like this, except for if Sam’s around right?” You nod your head in agreement. “Guess dad did us a small favor afterall by wiping my existence from the family tree. I wish I could rub that in his face.”</p><p>Dean chuckles at you. “I bet the old man is rolling in his grave right now.”</p><p>You take hold of Dean's hand in hopes to keep him calm. "I don't want to ruin the moment, but you know we should probably go back. You kind of just blew off Lisa when we left. And I don't know how long Mick can keep your angel friend from saying something he shouldn't."</p><p>Dean frowns at you. "What do you mean?"</p><p>Oh boy he really hasn't figured out Cas knows everything. He's going to flip when you tell him. So you make him pay the check and wait for him in the Impala. The second he jumps in the driver's seat he just stares at you expectantly. "Dean...Cas has been in both our heads. He knows everything. That's why he said he was surprised to see Lisa in the bunker."</p><p>"What!?" He says with wide eyes with a mix between fear and anger. "What if he tells Sam?!"</p><p>"Dee calm down. Mick is there running interference, but you should probably talk to him when we get back." Dean lets out a growl and wipes a hand down his face. "Fucking angels." He mutters as he peels out of the parking lot.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning - Mentions of self harm/implied suicide attempt. Nothing graphic though, I kept it vague.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>CHAPTER 10</p><p> </p><p>Dean holds a cold beer to his red swollen knuckles while glaring at you for smirking at him. After the two of you returned from your drive he ended up getting in an argument with Lisa. In her defense he has been a dick to her. While they were arguing you pulled the angel in a trench coat aside and had a conversation with him. He didn't seem to understand why people would be against your relationship with Dean. Blissfully ignorant angel you assumed. But by the end of the conversation he agreed to keep what he knew to himself.</p><p>That should have been the end of it. But Dean was all fired up again after his argument with Lisa. Still angry with Cas for keeping your whereabouts a secret, and now aware of his knowledge of your relationship he went after the poor clueless angel next. He lost his head and punched Cas in the face. Of course Cas was fine, but Dean's fist not so much. He's being petty now and refusing to let Cas heal his injured hand. You smacked your crankier half upside the head for being such an ass. </p><p>Sammy suggested to diffuse the tense situation that you all go out to a local bar. He figured that would get Dean to calm back down. So that’s where you all are now. Sam returns to the table with beers for everyone, well everyone except Cas. He says he can taste the molecules. Whatever that means. Mick takes his first sip of beer and makes a face of disgust. You can’t help but laugh. Dean who’s still in a mood doesn’t think anything is funny right now. “What’s wrong your lordship? Our cheap American beer isn’t good enough for you?”</p><p>You kick Dean under the table and scowl at him. “Ignore him Mick, do you want to try something else?” He smiles and shakes his head at you. “No, but thank you love. Just different than what I’m used to is all.” </p><p>A fun song starts playing, Mick gives you a playful smile as he moves his beer to the side and pulls you out of your chair. He takes you out to the dance floor and starts dancing with you. Lisa smiles as she watches you and Mick. “They really are cute together. How about we join them? Dance with me?” She asks Dean with a hopeful look in her eyes. He of course very grumpily refuses. “No. I’m good.” So Lisa sighs and throws Dean a glare as she excuses herself to the restroom while muttering some choice words about Dean under her breath.</p><p>Sam stares at Dean, giving him a signature resting bitch face. But Dean is looking anywhere but at his younger brother. “Okay Dean what’s up?” Sam says with a sigh.</p><p>“Hmm? What are you talking about Sammy?” Dean says trying to play dumb.</p><p>Sam’s frown deepens. “Don’t give me that crap Dean. What’s up with you and Lisa? I thought you guys were doing alright.”</p><p>Dean glances at Cas who has so far remained silent. When he’s sure the angel is going to keep his mouth shut he looks back at his brother. May as well use this opportunity to ease his brother into the idea that him and Lisa aren’t so great together. “Well Sammy it’s not all kittens and rainbows okay? We’re having some problems. But I don’t really want to talk about it right now, so can you drop it?”</p><p>Sam reluctantly agrees for now. “Okay fine, fair enough. But can you lighten up on Mick? He’s a good guy and was there for our sister when we couldn’t be.” Dean rolls his eyes. Like he didn’t already know that. “Yeah, okay Sammy.” Then he goes back to diverting his gaze away from Sam, and watching you. You have a bright smile on your face as you dance and laugh with Mick making Dean feel a pang of jealousy in his chest even though he knows he has no reason to feel that way. You’re his, and you always have been.</p><p>When the song comes to an end you and Mick go back to your table. He sits down but you grab your surly twin and pull him to his feet. "Stop being bitchy and come dance with me like you used to when we would sneak into bars together." Even when he wants to be mad and sulk he just can’t when he’s with you. You always could snap him out of his moods. He follows you out to the dance floor without an argument. Once you’re out of ear shot of everyone you raise your eyebrow at him. “You can’t be mad at the angel forever. And you can’t keep taking it out on everyone. Like I already told you it won’t change anything. So how about you stop being such a sourpuss.”</p><p>A tiny smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “I know, okay, I know. I just keep dwelling on how we could have been together sooner. Everyday I went without you just made me feel like the hole in my chest was getting bigger.”</p><p>You put your hand on his chest over his heart and give him a sad smile. “I felt the exact same way. But we’re whole now. So let’s forgive and move on, alright?” He bites his lip, he’s always looked incredibly sexy when he does that, but now's not a good time for such thoughts. He frees his bottom lip as he nods his head. “Alright sis, anything for you.” </p><p>Both of you keep your eyes on each other as you sway to the music together, tuning out the world around you. You only break eye contact when you feel eyes on you. As you glance around you find the source. “Um...Dean? Why is Lisa glaring at me like she hopes I burst into flames?” His eyes go wide and he smiles at you sheepishly. You narrow your eyes at him. “What did you do now?”</p><p>“She might have asked me to dance and I said no….”</p><p>“Dean seriously!? This weekend was your terrible idea, and you are failing miserably. I don’t want you to leave but maybe you should just drive her back home tomorrow. I really don’t like her, but she doesn’t deserve this. Don’t keep stringing her along.”</p><p>He sighs and drops his forehead to your shoulder. “I know you’re right, but I can’t leave you. Just the thought of leaving for a day makes my chest hurt.” Then he slowly lifts his head back up. “And for the record it’s not completely terrible. Sam’s already asked about me and Lisa, so that part's working.”</p><p>“I understand, but you still need to do the right thing. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here with Sammy. Call and text me as many times as you want if that helps.” His face reflects the conflicted feelings going through his head right now. The thought of him leaving makes your chest hurt too, but it’s only one day. You made it 13 years, so you can make it one more day. “Yeah, okay I’ll talk to her when we get back to the bunker.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam soon comes and cuts in. Dean reluctantly releases you, but walks away with a sullen look on his face. You know Sam wants to talk to you about Dean without anyone listening. “No need to worry my not so little brother. He’s going to forgive Cas and talk to Lisa with his grown up words.”</p><p>Sam smiles at you. “Nothing gets past you does it? You’re the only one he ever truly listened to. I could get through to him to a point, but not like you can. Do you know what’s up with him and Lisa?” Oh you should have seen that question coming. “I just know they aren’t a match made in heaven. No pun intended I suppose.”</p><p>“And to be fair, I did want a turn dancing with my sister.”</p><p>“Well let's see if you remember everything I taught you.” You tease.</p><p> </p><p>Once the song is over you and Sam go back to your table. You think you see something, or someone rather, and freeze in the middle of the bar. You do a double take but don’t see who or what you thought you saw again. Sam gives you a questioning look. You just wave him off and act like everything is fine. But Mick had his eyes on you. He saw your reaction and started looking around. You subtly shake your head at him telling him now’s not the time.</p><p>The drive back to the bunker is quiet and the tension is thick. Sam’s attempt to relieve the tension amongst the group seems to have failed. You’re sitting in the backseat between Mick and Cas. Everyone in the car has their mind on something. “I’m sensing...awkwardness?” Cas says with a frown and his head cocked to the side as he breaks the silence.</p><p>“Shut it Cas.” Dean barks out from the driver’s seat.</p><p>“Dean!” You scold. He grumbles some more under his breath for a moment before he responds. “Sorry Cas, everything is fine.” He says in an exasperated tone. Cas just looks even more confused. You pat the adorable angel on the shoulder. “It’s fine Cas. Everyone’s just tired. Been a long couple days.” He seems to accept your answer and turns his head and goes back to staring out the window.</p><p>Back at the bunker everyone parts ways and heads to bed, each for their own reasons. The minute you get into the room you and Mick are sharing he puts his hands on your face with a serious look on his own. “What happened back at the bar? I know that look of pure fear in your eyes so don’t lie to me.”</p><p>You bite your lip nervously and try averting your eyes but he pleads with you as he repeats your name. You slowly force yourself to raise your eyes to meet his. “I’m not entirely sure, okay? I could have been nothing, or my mind playing tricks on me. But I thought I saw a man with a cross tattoo on his hand. But when I looked again I didn’t see anything.”</p><p>Mick gets the same fearful look in his eyes that you had back at the bar. “Do you think they sent Mr. Ketch after us?” You can feel his body trembling and so is yours. You try willing back your tears and take a deep breath. “I honestly don’t know. Do you really think they would want us back that badly that they would send that psychopath after us?”</p><p>“Maybe just on principle for breaking the code. I don’t care if they sent him, we’re not going back. No matter what love.” You nod your head and wrap your arms around his middle and lose your battle against holding your tears back as a sob escapes you. Mick picks you up and pulls you onto the bed with him. You end up crying yourself to sleep. </p><p> </p><p>Sometime in the middle of the night you wake up and can’t go back to sleep. You only fell asleep the first time because you mentally exhausted yourself. Mick is still asleep so you carefully pull out of his arms and decide to head toward the kitchen. Before you make it there you see a light on in the library so you peek your head around the corner and see Sammy sitting at a table reading a book. “You can’t sleep either?”</p><p>Sam perks up at the sound of your voice and gives you a small smile as you take a seat across from him. “Sort of. A hunter called for some help, and now I’m wide awake. What about you?” You attempt to dodge that question. “What book are you reading?”</p><p>He gives you a knowing look. You and Dean are just alike when it comes to avoiding things you don’t want to talk about. He lifts the book up so you can see the front. It’s completely worn from being read so many times but it’s the book you gave him the day your dad took you away. “You kept that book all this time?”</p><p>He shrugs his shoulders. “It was the last thing you gave me, and the last day I saw you. So of course I kept it. Now, how about you answer my question instead of avoiding it?”</p><p>He’s gotten a little bossier as he’s gotten older apparently. Well what’s the harm in telling him? He should probably know in case something happens. “Back at the bar I thought I saw something. The British Men of Letters have a specific hunter they send for tougher jobs. He’s basically a hitman for hire, he’s fucking crazy. He gets off on killing. Anyway, he has a very distinct cross tattoo on his hand and I thought I saw it when we were in the bar. But when I did a double take I didn’t see anything. So I’m hoping it was just my mind playing tricks on me. Because if it is him he would be here to drag Mick and I back to England, and needless to say we refuse to ever go back.”</p><p>Sam’s eyes go wide and he reaches for your hands. “Why didn’t you say something earlier? You know Dean and I would track this guy down. We’re not going to lose you again.” You squeeze his hand and the reach for a piece of paper and a pencil that’s on the table. “Like I said, I don’t know what I saw. I don’t want to panic yet, nor do I want him near my brothers. Like I said he’s psycho. So how about we just be diligent and keep our eyes open? I’ll draw a picture of his tattoo so you know what it looks like.”</p><p>“Okay, that’s fair.” He sighs. You can tell he’s still worried. Hell you are too, but you don’t want to freak yourself out for no reason. And Ketch wouldn’t hesitate to harm your brothers to get to you. After you finish the drawing you slide it over to him and he just stares at it for a few minutes. “Sammy? Something wrong?”</p><p>“Not exactly. There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you without anyone around, but I don’t want you to lie to me. And I don’t mean that offensively. Anytime you ever lied to me growing up was because you were just trying to protect me.”</p><p>Internally you start to panic, worrying about what he wants to ask you. Did he figure you and Dean out? He doesn’t look disgusted, that can’t be it. When he gives you the sad puppy eyes you have seen on him for over a decade your resolve immediately crumbles. “I will do my best. What is it?”</p><p>“I know you and Dean have this connection or whatever you want to call it. But he’s not always very observant, even with you he has some blind spots.” He reaches for one of your hands and goes to unsnap one of your bracelets but you quickly pull your hand away and wrap your arms around yourself. Tears instantly start falling. “(Y/N), what happened? I know what you’re hiding underneath. I promise I won’t tell Dean. I can stay between us.”</p><p>Sammy always was the observant one. Like he said, Dean doesn’t always pick up on things right away. You sit there in silence for what feels like forever as you internally argue with yourself about what to do or say. You wipe the tears away and clear your throat. “It was a little over two years ago. I woke in the dead of night and felt like my heart had been ripped right out of my chest. I couldn’t breath no matter how hard I tried. Mick couldn’t get me to calm down. I just kept telling him Dean was dead. His parents eventually confirmed it, and what had happened. I didn’t want to be here without him so I figured if his soul was damned to hell mine would be too and then at least we could be together again. I tried more than once, Mick saved me and couldn’t ever leave me alone. It went on like that for four months, until one day I woke up without feeling completely empty inside and I knew Dean was somehow alive. That’s when I tried making the rash decision to flee England and Cas stopped me.”</p><p>Sam gets up and moves around the table and pulls you into a tight hug. He has tears on his own face. “I know I’m not Dean, but I love you and need you too. Please don’t ever leave.”</p><p>“I love you too Sammy, so much. But he’s my other half. I can’t be without him, and he can’t be without me."</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
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</p><p>CHAPTER 11</p><p> </p><p>Dean drags you behind him as he runs down the hallways of the bunker. He pulls you into an unused room toward the back of the building. The doorknob was even covered in dust from not being opened for years. Once inside the room he shoves you up against the wall and pins your arms with his hands around your leather bracelet covered wrists next to your head. He hovers his lips next to yours. “I can’t do it. I can’t leave.”</p><p>Then he presses his lips to yours for a passionate kiss, giving you no chance to respond. Your brain comes to a screeching halt anyway the moment he starts kissing you. When he finally breaks the kiss he rests his forehead against yours. “Please don’t make me leave.” He says pleadingly.</p><p>“Dean I don’t want you to leave, but do you have a better idea on how to handle your girlfriend situation? I’m open to suggestions.” He’s supposed to be leaving in like an hour, so that’s why he’s suddenly freaking out. He told Sam he’d be back, but didn’t elaborate. You’re sure the moment he leaves Sam will start his inquisition.</p><p>Dean lets out a whiney growl. “No I don’t. But this fucking sucks. Wait, how about you come with me?”</p><p>You give him a soft kiss making him melt even more against you before you turn down his ridiculous idea. “Dee we both know that would be a terrible idea. You spent a year with her and her kid, the least you can do is have a grown up conversation with her. She deserves that much.”</p><p>“Fine.” He sighs. “Too bad Cas had to leave. I could have had him zap me there and back.” You scoff at him. “He left because you were being an asshole. Only you could manage to hurt an angel’s feelings.” He presses his lips to yours once again, this time to quiet you though so you can’t scold him some more. Both of you get lost in the kiss. Dean releases your wrists to slide his hands down your body. Just when things were about to get good, someone starts calling Dean’s name. His body goes stiff and he holds you tightly to him. “Her voice is becoming more and more grating to me. It’s going to be a long fucking drive.”</p><p>You lean up and nibble on his ear. “I suggest you drive fast then. Because we’re going to pick this up the minute you get back.” Dean’s breathing stutters and he groans. “You aren’t making this any easier baby girl.”</p><p> </p><p>Much to both of your dismay, Dean eventually pries himself away from you and leaves with Lisa. She didn’t even say goodbye to you. You tried to at least give her a wave, but you got a dirty look in response. Well fuck you too, you thought to yourself. The moment you lose sight of the Impala you get that feeling back in your chest. The feeling that part of you is missing. You hope he hurries because you never want to feel this way or be without him again.</p><p>Sam pulls you from your internal sorrow when he drapes his big arm over your shoulder. You still keep your eyes forward though. Watching the dust trail the Impala left settle back to the ground. “How about we go for a walk? It’s a nice day and we could use the fresh air.”</p><p>You force yourself not to sigh out loud. Let the inquisition begin, you think to yourself. You just nod your head to him in silent agreement. The two of you just walk quietly together side by side. You’re not sure if he’s waiting for you to talk first or if he’s trying to figure out where to start with his questions. Maybe it’s more to do with what you told him last night, and not actually about Dean. Or maybe it’s both. After what feels like the longest silence ever he eventually breaks it. “Hey (Y/N)...?”</p><p>“Yeah Sammy?”</p><p>He sighs and grabs your arm to stop you from walking. You turn toward him with a questioning look on your face. “Um...I’m trying to figure out how to say this. You...you’re much easier to talk to about difficult or...sensitive subjects than Dean. He lashes out when he feels cornered, and well you don’t.”</p><p>“Okay...I agree. But are you just saying this in general or is there something specific?”</p><p>He wipes a hand down his face, and then nervously through his hair. Him being so anxious is making you anxious. “(Y/N) I love you and Dean. The two of you raised me, you were more my parents than our real parents. I just want you to know that I know about...how close you and Dean are. I’m assuming that’s why he’s taking Lisa home and coming back?”</p><p>Your eyes go wide, and you’re frozen as you panic. The only sound you can hear is the rapid pounding of your heart. You wonder if Sam can hear it too. How could he know? How long has he known? But he doesn’t look disgusted or angry so maybe he doesn’t mean what you think he means. “What do you mean? We’re twins, we’ve always been close.” You try to say in a cool and calm voice.</p><p>He gives you a knowing look. “When I was, I think 12 I told you and Dean I was going to stay after school for a study group. It ended up being cancelled so I got back to the motel early. Dean had his music up too loud as usual so you didn’t hear me, but I saw the two of you kissing. I left and came back later so that you didn’t know. I always knew the two of you were close. Hell I thought it was normal, until I met other twins and realized maybe it wasn’t.”</p><p>Your eyes start to water and your hands start to tremble so you wrap them around yourself. He’s known that long and never said a thing about it? “Sammy...I…” He gives you a warm smile and shakes his head. “I’m not degrading you for it, or saying there’s anything wrong with either of you. Maybe there’s something wrong with me. Our family has never been normal anyway right? What I’m trying to tell you is it still feels normal to me, and I’m okay with it. I just want you and Dean to be happy and I know that’s only going to happen if you’re together.”</p><p>The tears start falling at his words. You can’t believe what you’re hearing. “Really? You’re not ashamed of us? It’s hard to explain, but we just don’t feel whole unless we’re together and no one else feels right. We always thought there was something wrong with us, but we can’t help how we feel.”</p><p>Sam shakes his head. “No I’m not ashamed, I swear. I never said anything because I knew Dean would freak out. Like I said he lashes out. Neither of us were the same after you were gone, but I could tell Dean lost a part of himself. And even though he won’t say it out loud I know he’s not happy with Lisa, he’s just trying to make it work because of a promise he made me. I just wanted him to have a chance at a normal life. But I see now our version of normal may be different from everyone else’s, and that’s okay.”</p><p>You lean your head back looking up towards the sky and take a deep breath. “This would have been nice to know a few days ago. The whole reason Dean was going on with this little façade with Lisa was to uphold his promise and not reveal our dirty little secret. I really don’t like her, but I can’t help but feel kind of bad for her.”</p><p>“Well...I didn’t really know an ideal time to bring it up, and I was just happy to have you back. I tried talking to Dean a little about Lisa but you know how that goes. I feel bad too because it’s partially my fault he was trying to force it to work. At least we’ll get to be together as a family again. Is this why dad sent you away, he found out?”</p><p>You let out a humorless laugh as you tilt your head back down and look at your younger brother. Well there’s no point in lying now right? “Dean once again had his music up too loud. We didn’t hear the Impala pull up or the motel room door open and close. We were on the couch and then suddenly Dean’s being thrown across the room. He basically beat the shit out of both of us. He knocked me out because I tried running from the Impala. When I woke up I was at an airport and he said if I didn’t get on the plane he was going to make me watch him torture Dean basically. As much as I couldn’t bear the thought of being without either of you, I couldn’t knowingly let him hurt Dean so I got on the plane. I’m sorry I left both of you. I really didn’t want to.” The tears start falling again as you retell the story you haven’t said out loud for a very long time. Not since you told Mick over a decade ago. Sam steps closer and wraps his big arms around you. “I’m so sorry dad did that to you.” He whispers quietly with tears in his own eyes.</p><p>A few minutes later your phone goes off several times breaking the moment. You give Sam one more squeeze and then pull away reaching for your phone in your pocket. You snort out a laugh with your runny nose and watery eyes when you see it’s a few texts from Dean. It’s only been a half hour since he left.</p><p>
  <em>I miss your face</em>
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  <em>And your sexy ass</em>
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  <em>I keep picturing you in the backseat</em>
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  <em>Can I turn the car around?</em>
</p><p>Sam gives you a curious look as you smile at your phone. He doesn’t need details. You’re being open with him, but not that open. “It’s Dean, he really didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want him to leave either.” You bite your lip as you text him back.</p><p>
  <em>I love you and miss you too. Hurry up, but drive safe.</em>
</p><p>You sigh as you put your phone back in your pocket. “He’s going to flip when he finds out you know, but once he calms down everything will be okay.”</p><p>Sam nods his head in agreement. “Yeah I’m just glad you’re here to calm him down. What about Mick does he know anything?”</p><p>You scoff at Sam. “There’s nothing Mick doesn’t know. We know everything about each other. Cas knows too. That’s another reason Dean kept giving him dirty looks, and being extra pissy to him. He was afraid he would say something. So I suppose all the people important to us know and haven’t shunned us. That’s a good sign, right?”</p><p>Sam throws his arm back over your shoulder and starts walking back toward the bunker. “Sure, lead with that when you tell Dean.” He says teasingly.</p><p> </p><p>Back inside the bunker you tell Mick the secret’s out. You could see the tension leave his shoulders once you told him that. Happy to not have a huge secret to conceal any longer. Sam said he wanted to get to know Mick a little better. They’re both big history buffs, and like Dean said they’re nerd soulmates. Which is kind of adorable.</p><p>With them nerding it up it made you think about Cas. You felt bad about how Dean treated him. Aside from the mistake of him keeping your whereabouts to himself he’s done a lot for your brothers. He’s an angel that rebelled from heaven. The only home he’d ever known. And you feel that you will forever owe him for saving your twin and raising his soul from hell. So you wanted to get to know Dean’s best friend better, which will maybe help keep your mind busy while you wait for him to return.</p><p>Sam prayed to Cas and it didn’t take long before you heard the sound of fluttering wings. You talked him into going on a supply run with you. He looked confused with his head cocked to the side, he seems to do that a lot. But he still agreed to come.</p><p>Mick was a little worried about you leaving considering what or who you thought you saw at the bar the night before. But you and Sam pointed out you’ll be with an angel. Surely an angel can handle a douche bag from the British men of letters, should one appear.</p><p>The garage of the bunker is full of classic cars, which you think is awesome. So you got your pick. As you drive out of the garage with the angel in the passenger seat you try to think where to start. “Cas...I’m sorry for how Dean’s treated you. He sometimes forgets how to use grown up words. I just want you to know I’m not angry with you for not telling my brother’s where I was.”</p><p>He casts his eyes down and fidgets with his fingers, which you find odd that an angel has a nervous human habit. “Thank you, you are very kind. I don’t think Dean will ever see it that way though. No matter how many times I apologize. I truly am sorry.”</p><p>“Listen, you made one mistake. Sure it was kind of a big one. But look at everything you’ve done for my brothers. You saved them countless times, including my brother’s lost soul, and you rebelled against heaven. One mistake doesn’t cancel out all the good you’ve done. So don’t let Dean get to you. I’ll handle him when he gets back.”</p><p>He finally raises his eyes to look at you. “You are his voice of reason that he’s needed all these years. He’ll be returning to the bunker to be with you, correct?” You bite your lip and nod your head at the angel. “Good, things will be how they should be.” You’re not exactly sure what he means by that, but it sounds like he’s in agreement at least.</p><p>“So I’m curious since heaven took you back, what do you do when you’re up there?”</p><p>Cas quickly turns his head away from you and looks out the window, and he’s gone back to fidgeting with his fingers. When he doesn’t answer you, you’re worried you offended him somehow. “Cas? Did I say something wrong?”</p><p>He sighs heavily and keeps his head turned toward the window. “I lied to Dean and Sam. I didn’t want to be a bother to them. I tried returning home, to heaven, but they rejected me. I’m no longer welcome there.”</p><p>Your eyes go wide. Oh what has Dean said to make him feel like he’d be a bother. “Cas they said that was a year ago. What have you been doing all this time?”</p><p>“I try to help people where I can. Make use of my powers, like healing the sick or wounded. I told Dean once I wanted to be a hunter but he said he wasn’t going to train a baby in a trench coat. Then he stopped hunting and I never brought it up to Sam.”</p><p>“Oh I am so going to smack him upside the head for that. Cas this family owes you a lot even though you don’t feel that way. You come stay in the bunker, and I’ll train you myself if that’s what you truly want to do.”</p><p>He finally turns his head back toward you. He’s looking at you in disbelief. Angels can have low self esteem too apparently. Then a tiny smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “You really mean that? What about your brothers?”</p><p>“If Sam would have known you were homeless he would have invited you into the bunker, and I know Dean would have too. And yes I really mean it. So...will you make the bunker your new home with us?”</p><p>You pull into a parking lot and park in the back of the store. When you finally come to a stop you look over at Cas who has yet to answer you. His eyes look glossy and he opens his arms awkwardly like he wants to hug you but isn’t sure if it’s okay. You smile as you open your arms and pull him in for a hug.</p><p>“Yes (Y/N), thank you.”</p><p>“What are friends for? We’re friends now right?”</p><p>He pulls away from you and has an actual smile on his face. “Yes I would be honored to call you my friend. I find it fascinating how you and Dean are very much alike yet different at the same time.”</p><p>“Thanks? And I’m honored to call you my friend as well.” Then you pull the angel out of the car with you and head inside the store with your arm looped through his.</p><p> </p><p>When you and Cas finish your shopping trip you exit the store laughing almost hysterically while the angel looks unamused. He wanted to get Dean a peace offering pie and panicked when he couldn't find one and grabbed the store clerk by the shirt collar and demanded he find pie. Eventually your laughter gets infectious and he can’t help but smile. “Oh Cas that was great. I think you made that guy pee himself.”</p><p>He cocks his head to the side. “I didn’t see any evidence of urination.” Right, Sam warned you he takes things quite literally. He’s still learning humor and expressions. You pat him on the shoulder as your phone goes off. “I was just kidding around Cas.” When you pull your phone out you see it's another text from Dean.</p><p>
  <em>The further away I get the more my chest hurts</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss you</em>
</p><p>Cas who doesn’t understand personal space apparently stands over your shoulder reading the text. Oh well, it’s not anything he doesn’t already know. You quickly text Dean back.<em> I know mine too. I miss you.</em></p><p>“There’s a reason you both feel that way…” Cas starts. But as you turn the corner you see someone ready and waiting with an angel banishing sigil, blasting Cas away before either of you can react. Then Arthur Ketch points a gun at you.</p><p>
  
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry. I apologize in advance for the ending of this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>CHAPTER 12</p><p> </p><p>There’s a sharp pain in your shoulder and your shirt is soaked in blood. Mick tears the sleeve off your shirt and Sammy gives you something to bite down on. “Hold on sis, I gotta get the bullet out.” You nod your head and brace yourself. More pain shoots through you as Sam starts trying to retrieve the bullet from your shoulder. Sadly you’ve felt much worse pain than this so you know you can take it. Your phone starts going off again. Likely Dean calling you again. He’s been alternating between calling your phone and Sam’s.</p><p>“Almost got it. Stay with me sis.”</p><p>A few more painfully grueling minutes later you feel some of the pressure relieved and the sound of the bullet clinking inside a metal bowl that Sam drops it into. You sigh in relief even though you’re still in pain at least you don’t have someone digging around in your bullet wound. Mick puts his hand on your thigh as he kneels down in front of you with worried eyes. “Love we don’t know when or if Castiel will make it back so we’re going to have to clean up that wound.”</p><p>“Yeah I figured as much. Can you hand me my phone first?”</p><p>Mick stands back up and retrieves your phone for you while Sam goes and gets more supplies for your shoulder. You look at your phone and see 10 unread texts and about 50 missed calls. Dean’s probably having a heart attack. He doesn’t know that anything’s happened, it's the fact that both you and Sam weren’t answering your phones for an extended period of time.</p><p>You hit the call button. Dean picks up on the first ring. <em>“Are you alright? Is Sam alright? Why aren’t you answering your phones?</em>”</p><p>“Calm down Dean, I’m sorry. You didn’t turn around did you?”</p><p>
  <em>“No, but I was getting ready to. Now what’s going on?”</em>
</p><p>“Okay I will tell you but I need you to stay calm and keep driving. I promise I’m okay. We’re all okay.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>1 Hour Ago….</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Arthur is leaning against the wall of the back of the store where your car is parked. He slams his bloody hand onto the angel banishing sigil, sending Cas away before either of you can comprehend what’s happening. Once Cas is gone Arthur points a gun at you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That was rather rude Arthur. What do you think you’re doing?” You try to stay calm even though inside you’re panicking.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well dear, you have been a naughty girl haven’t you? You and your husband are in for one hell of a punishment. It’s time for you both to go home now.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We aren’t going anywhere, and I am home. So do you really want to find out who the quicker draw is?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t suppose you want to give your dear husband a quick ring so we can get him to join the party also? He’s not too far away so I don’t mind waiting.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You cock your head to the side and narrow your eyes at him. He knows where the bunker is but he’s waited until now to make a move. Why? You smile smugly at Arthur. “You can’t get into the bunker can you? My little brother said it was a fortress. I admit I had my doubts, but I’ll be sure to thank him when I get back.”</em>
</p><p><em>Arthur not amused with you taunting him cocks his gun. Either way you’re both leaving here bleeding. It’s just a matter of who hits who first and how badly. You have a gun in the waistband of your pants. So you try talking to him more to distract him and allow you time to reach for it. “Now now Arthur. I’m betting they want us back alive. And actually I’m curious, why on earth do they want us back in the first place? I mean come on, shouldn’t they be relieved to finally be rid of us?</em>”</p><p>
  <em>“It doesn’t work like that dear, you know that. You broke the rules and left without permission. So they are going to make an example out of both of you.” As he’s talking you quickly reach for your gun. You shoot him once in the leg. Then he fires hitting you in the shoulder. So you fire a second time hitting his hand causing him to drop his gun. You run and grab his gun while he’s crying out in pain and then just because he’s a douche bag you kick him in the balls, effectively knocking him completely to the ground. “Told you I was the quicker draw. Now leave us alone or the next one will be between the eyes.” You yell out as you run to the car. Then you quickly jump inside and take off driving back to the bunker as fast as you can.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>You can practically hear the steam coming out of Dean’s ears through the phone. You could also hear him slamming on the breaks of the Impala the moment you said you were shot in the shoulder. <em>“What?! How bad are you hurt? Why didn’t you tell me you thought you saw this guy at the bar? Since when do you keep things from me?”</em></p><p>Okay that last question stung. Because he’s not wrong and you know he’s hurting at the thought of you not telling him something. “Dean please calm down. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was just hoping it was my mind playing tricks on me, and partially because I didn’t want to believe they were coming after us. I promise you I am alright. Sam got the bullet out and Mick is cleaning up the wound in case Cas doesn’t make it back anytime soon.”</p><p>You can hear the door to the Impala open and close. He must have stepped outside to talk to you without Lisa staring at him. <em>“Baby this isn’t alright. You bleed I bleed, remember? I should be with you, and I’m going to find that British asshole and shoot him in the fucking face.”</em></p><p>“I said I was sorry. I really am. But you’re almost to Indiana. Just get <em>her</em> home and hightail it back to me. We’ll deal with everything else once you’re here. Okay?” There’s a long heavy pause through the phone. You can picture Dean’s face as he wrestles with his emotions on what to do. Eventually you hear a heavy sigh. <em>“Okay, fine. Just please stay inside the bunker until I get back. I’ll call you the moment I leave. I love you.”</em></p><p>“Alright. I love you too Dee.”</p><p> </p><p>A couple hours later Cas appears looking frazzled and disheveled. You’re lying back on a couch with your bandaged shoulder waiting for Dean to call. “(Y/N) are you alright?” He comes running over to you. You sit up with a groan and nod your head. “Just a bullet to the shoulder. Nothing I couldn’t handle, but I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to try healing it.”</p><p>He sits down next to you on the couch still with a worried look on his face. “Yes of course, but what happened? Do you know who that man was?” You don’t answer him right away. You watch his hand that’s over your wounded shoulder start glowing, and his eyes glow also. The feeling of his grace healing your wound feels strange, but the pain immediately dissipates. Once he’s done he leans back on the couch and looks like he needs to catch his breath. Which you’re pretty sure is unusual for a celestial being. “Cas? You okay?”</p><p>“Yes I’m just not back to full strength. That took a little more out of me than I expected. Once I’m able I’ll heal the rest of your body.”</p><p>You know he’s talking about the scars all over your body. You didn’t really think to ask him about that sooner. You just nod your head at him in understanding and then go on to explain to him what had happened. He looks just as angry as both your brothers and Mick. “When Dean returns I’ll help him and Sam find this man. He won’t hurt you again (Y/N).”</p><p>You smile at Cas. “Thank you, but I think he’s more hurt than I am right now. I got two shots in and a kick to the balls before I took off.”</p><p>Sam and Mick are sitting at a table nearby. They were going through books trying to find a spell to break the ones put on your wedding bands. You and Mick love each other very much, but it would be nice to take these damn things off. And it kind of puts a damper on the chances of him ever meeting anyone if he looks married. Now though after what happened to you they’re looking up protection spells in the rare event that the bunker gets breached. Or any kind of spell for that matter, that would come in handy.</p><p>“Cas are you actually alright or are you just saying you’re alright?” Sam asks the angel worriedly. Yeah, you spilled the beans to Sam about the poor homeless angel that didn’t want to be a bother to anyone. Cas gives you a look, but doesn’t say anything. So you try reassuring him. “Cas, Sammy cares. We all care. You don’t have to hide the fact if you’re not okay.”</p><p>He casts his eyes downward. “I am quite weakened, but I just need time for my grace to fully restore, and then I will be alright.”</p><p>“See Cas, that wasn’t so hard. You can keep me company while the nerds go through the books and I wait for Dean to get back.”</p><p>You can feel Mick glaring at you for calling him a nerd...again. You just smile back at him. “You know I say it out of love.” You tease. He shakes his head at you. “Yeah, yeah. Well at least I know you’re feeling better.”</p><p>He goes back to reading, but you notice him looking toward the door every so often. You know he’s worried Ketch is going to show up. “Mick, he can’t get in. He would have done it already. Sam’s got everything locked up tight. We’re okay. And you guys are coming up with an emergency plan B just in case.”</p><p>He nods his head. “I know love. I just don’t like knowing how close by he is.”</p><p>Sam nods his head in agreement with a look of determination on his face. “If by some miracle he were to get in we have an entire arsenal here and it’ll be a cold day in hell before I let him or anyone take my sister away again.”</p><p>“You know I’m the older one. I’m supposed to be the protective one.” You chime in.</p><p>Sammy just smiles at you. “Yeah well I’m bigger than you now. So I get to be the protective one.”</p><p>Before you can retort your phone starts ringing. It’s about time Dean called you, you were starting to get worried. “Hey Dee, you on the road?”</p><p>
  <em>“Um...no not yet baby girl.”</em>
</p><p>He doesn’t sound very good. In fact he sounds pretty upset. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”</p><p>
  <em>“I...I...Fuck!”</em>
</p><p>You can feel the three men in the room staring at you. So you get up and walk to the room you and Mick are currently occupying so you can talk to him privately. “Baby you’re worrying me. What happened?”</p><p>
  <em>“Okay so...I got back to Lisa’s house. I sat her down to talk to her, but before I could even get two words out she dropped a bomb on me. She...she said she’s pregnant.”</em>
</p><p>His words make you freeze in the spot you're standing in. It feels like there’s a lump in your throat and you can’t form any words. This can’t be happening. You just got each other back, and you and your brothers were supposed to be happily back together again as a family.</p><p>
  <em>“(Y/N)? Are you still there?”</em>
</p><p>“Sort of.” You mumble into the phone. Then you clear your throat awkwardly. “I thought...you told me you were you know...always careful. Do you believe her?”</p><p>
  <em>“I was, or thought I was. I don’t know. I...I don’t know what to fucking do.”</em>
</p><p>Your eyes start to water once you realize what he’s asking without asking it. “So you want me to tell you what to do? If she is, you don’t want to be like our father. You want me to decide for you whether to stay there with a woman you don’t love so that you won’t be a deadbeat dad, or to come back to me and away from your supposed child? That’s not fair Dean. You’re not putting this off on me. Let me know when you make up your fucking mind.” Then you hang up the phone and throw it on the bed. You lean your back against the wall and slide down to the floor pulling your knees up to your chest as you start sobbing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I said I was sorry. Don't hate me just yet though.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning the reader's past suicide attempt is mentioned and there's a dream sequence about it. But nothing graphic.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>CHAPTER 13</p><p> </p><p>This is a terrible idea. It’s a stupid idea, you’re stupid for even thinking it. But you’re angry and irrational and need to punch something. Or in this case shoot someone. After you pulled yourself off the bedroom floor you snuck out of the bunker without telling anyone. Well almost without telling anyone. Cas caught you and your tear stained face. You just told him you had an argument with Dean and needed to be alone for a little while. He seemed to accept your explanation and didn’t question you any further.</p><p>What Dean said the other day was spot on. When he was upset about Cas keeping your whereabouts a secret he said that your lives were epically fucked up and complicated, and nothing could ever go smoothly. Case and point once again with that last phone call you had with him.</p><p>He tried calling you back several times but you got fed up with the ringing and turned your phone off. Logically you know he’s upset, confused, and needs someone to talk to. But you’re pissed and fed up with shit going wrong. And you’re not going to make that decision for him.</p><p>So how are you dealing with your feelings right now? Why the Winchester way of course, making rash and reckless decisions when you're emotional. You’re going to hunt down Arthur Ketch and just take him out so you and Mick can stop looking over your shoulders. You didn’t do it the first time because you know he had a powerful witch put a spell on him. In the event that he dies he has a fail safe that will bring him back. So it would have been pointless and you wanted him to feel pain. But you forgot that it only works once and then the witch has to recast the spell. So you just have to wait for him to wake up and kill him a second time then he won't be coming back.</p><p>You used the bullet Sam pulled out of you to do a tracking spell. He’s staying in a motel about 20 minutes away just off the highway. Which you find funny because he’s used to staying in posh ritzy hotels and you’ll find nothing like that around here.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean’s sitting on some stairs outside Lisa’s house with his face buried in his hands. He’s left you at least a dozen messages but you turned your phone off. He couldn’t keep the tears back if he tried. He feels stupid for how the conversation went with you, because you weren’t wrong. He was trying to take the easy way out and have you tell him what to do.</p><p>The familiar sound of fluttering wings gets his attention but he doesn’t even lift his head at the sound of his best friend's voice. “Hello Dean.”</p><p>When Dean doesn’t respond Cas sits down next to him. “(Y/N) is quite upset too. What happened?” Dean finally perks up at the sound of your name. “You talked to her? Can you get her to turn her phone back on?”</p><p>“All she told me was she had an argument with you and wanted to be alone for a while. I’m unsure whether she had her phone on her or not though.”</p><p>Dean wipes a hand down his tear stained face and takes a deep breath. “Did you heal her at least? Is she okay physically?”</p><p>Cas nods his head. “I healed her shoulder where she was shot. But I didn’t have enough grace to heal the rest of her. I told her once I did I would heal the rest of her body. The scars all over her back and wrists.”</p><p>“What scars on her wrists?” Dean says without missing a beat.</p><p>The angel gives him a confused look. “I know she keeps them covered. But did she not tell you?” Dean just shakes his head no. “You two are connected more than you seem to understand. She felt the moment you died Dean, when your soul was dragged to hell. She knew you were dead and thought she would be damned to hell also so she tried multiple times to end her life to be with you. Mick saved her and stopped her each time. She didn’t snap out of her depression until the moment I pulled your soul out of hell, when she felt you were alive again.”</p><p>Dean has tears streaming down his face all over again. That night he saw you for the first time he had this feeling that you weren’t telling everything. Now he knows why. “I believe you, but how is that even possible Cas? We always knew we had a deep connection, but we never understood it.”</p><p>“Dean, you and (Y/N) soulmates. It’s quite rare to meet your soulmate, but you just happened to be born with yours. That’s why you both feel like half of you is missing when you’re apart. Your souls are longing for each other. So what I am having difficulty understanding is if you feel empty without her why are you sitting here right now instead of going back to her?”</p><p>Dean lets out a humorless laugh. “Soulmates huh? I guess that actually makes sense. Wish we had you around 13 years ago to explain that to our dad. Probably wouldn’t have made any difference to him though. As for why I’m still here, well I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place again. Lisa just told me she’s pregnant. I don’t know what to do, and when I told (Y/N) she got upset and now she won’t talk to me.”</p><p>“Lisa is not pregnant.” Cas says matter of factly.</p><p>Dean looks at Cas with a raised brow. “What? Lisa told me she was when we got here. Are you sure?”</p><p>“She’s not pregnant Dean, she’s lying. I was with you most of the weekend. I would have sensed if she was with child. Unless you’ve had relations in the last 24 hours then it's not possible.”</p><p>“No of course I haven’t. So she fucking lied to keep me here? She must have known I was going back to Kansas to be with (Y/N) and Sammy. What a fucking bitch! Can you tell my sister that and tell her I’m driving back now and to turn her phone on so we can talk?” Cas nods his head in agreement. So Dean goes to stand up to give Lisa a piece of his mind before he leaves. But he quickly drops back to the ground falling to his knees and holds his hand to his chest. “Cas! Something’s wrong with (Y/N).” His chest tightens and he starts gasping for air. He looks up at Cas with fear in his eyes. “She's dying, take me to her now!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>In all the years you’ve known Mick he’s only kept one secret from you. The bracelets he made you to cover the scars on your wrists have a tracker inside them. He did it shortly after Dean had died because you were so unstable. If by some chance you did manage to run off he wanted to be able to find you. So as soon as Cas innocently mentioned passing you in the hallway with tears all over your face and saying you just wanted to be alone after an argument with Dean that set off red flags for him.</p><p>Cas already left to go speak to Dean. Sam searched the bunker for you while Mick pulled up the tracker on his phone. He quickly figured out you weren’t in the bunker anymore so he found Sam and they took off after you. He had a feeling where you were going, or who you were going after, but didn’t quite understand why. He can only assume that whatever argument you had with Dean set you off.</p><p>Mick and Sam find the car you borrowed from the bunker parked at a motel. They figure out which room Ketch was staying in. Which wasn’t hard, the door was already broken from being kicked open. Inside they find Arthur Ketch’s dead body lying on the bed. Shot right between the eyes, and multiple times in the chest. Then they find you lying unconscious on the floor but you're not bleeding, no gunshots or wounds of any kind.</p><p>Both men run over to you, Mick checks your pulse. “Oh thank god, she’s alive.” He gasps out. As Sam looks you over, Mick gets up and looks around the room. “Mick she’s burning up. What the hell did he do to her?”</p><p>“That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” He says as he scours the room and searches around Arthur’s lifeless body. “Oh bloody hell.” Mick mutters when he finds a vial. “I’m pretty sure it’s Djinn poison mate.”</p><p>Sam sighs in relief. “That’s alright. I have an antidote to that in my trunk.” Sam goes to get up to run to the car but Mick shakes his head. “That’s not going to work my friend. This sick bastard wouldn’t just use regular run of the mill Djinn poison.”</p><p>“Son of a bitch.” Sam growls out when he realizes what Mick’s talking about. “It’s the one that prefers the scent and taste of fear and makes your insides boil and liquify. I’ve encountered one before. One of us is going to have to take African dream root to get inside her nightmare and make her wake up before it kills her. I don’t have that in my trunk. Let’s hurry and get her back to the bunker.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean frantically runs through the bunker calling out for you and Sam, hell he even tries yelling for Mick. There’s no one around. Just when he’s about to get in the angel's face for bringing him to the wrong place he hears the metal door to the bunker creak open and closed. He runs back through the bunker toward the door and sees Sammy carrying your unconscious body down the stairs. “Dean?”</p><p>“Sammy what happened?! She’s dying, I can feel it.” He says as he pulls you out of Sam’s arms and into his own. He should feel better by having you in his arms but he just feels a sharp pain in his chest. Like there’s a hole and it’s getting bigger with every passing second. Sam sighs as he and Mick start mixing the ingredients they need. “She went after Ketch. She killed him but apparently not before he shot her with some Djinn poison, but not regular Djinn poison.”</p><p>“The fear one? That’s why she’s burning up? Cas can you heal her or pull her out of this?”</p><p>The angel shakes his head. “No I’m sorry Dean. I’m still not at full strength and bringing you back here used up what little power I have right now.”</p><p>Dean snaps his fingers impatiently at his brother and holds his hand out. “Give me the goddamn dream root now!”</p><p>Sam wants to question his brother’s mental stability at the moment, but he knows better than to argue with him when it comes to you. Dean carries you over to the closest room with a bed and lies you down on it. He quickly drinks down the dream root. “Okay Sammy, no time to wait knock me out.”</p><p>Cas rolls his eyes and puts two fingers on Dean’s forehead making him instantly fall asleep. He catches him before he falls and lays him down on the bed next to you. Now all they can do is wait for Dean to wake you up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dr. Hess, the headmistress of the Kendrick's Academy and Mick’s adoptive mother orders Arthur Ketch to put a gun in your hand. You have your eyes closed with your back against the wall trying and failing to hold back your tears. You feel when he’s standing in front of you and he grabs your hand roughly and wraps your hand around the gun.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Open your eyes Mrs. Davies.” Dr. Hess orders.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That’s not my name! It’s Winchester!” You scream at the evil old British cunt, but still keep your eyes closed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your face stings when a hand slaps you across the face. You’re sure Arthur enjoyed that, but you don’t care. You know what will happen if you open your eyes. You’ll take a thousand beatings just to keep your eyes closed. “Open them now or Mick will take all your lashings in addition to his own.” Of course that threat always works, you would never do that to him. He can’t take as many beatings as you and they know that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Everything will be alright love.” Mick says to you calmly. You know he’s just a few feet in front of you. You hear another slapping sound. One of them struck Mick for speaking out of turn.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You bite your lip and take a deep breath as you force yourself to slowly open your eyes. You see Dean’s beautiful green eyes looking back at you. But you know they aren’t really there. It’s the powerful spellwork they’re using to mess with your mind. He looks so real, like you could reach your hand out and touch his handsome face.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Good. Now shoot one of them.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>More tears stream down your face. It’s either shoot Dean and watch the light leave his eyes or shoot Mick. You know Mick is real and Dean is not. But it’s the fact that he looks real that makes this so painful, and no matter how many times they make you do it, it hurts more each time. This is one of their ongoing attempts to 'cure' you. You tear your eyes away from Dean’s and make eye contact with Mick. He’s kneeling down on the ground with his hands tied behind his back, and a look of fear in his eyes. You force yourself to raise the gun but your eyes immediately close again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, eyes open.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You slowly open your eyes and look into his green eyes again. In your head you always say ‘I love you Dean’ then pull the trigger. His eyes dim and no longer look green, they just look empty and dark. You drop the gun and then fall to your knees as you sob next to your twin's lifeless body.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The sound of screaming wakes you. You jolt upright in bed holding a hand to your chest. Then you realize it’s your screams. Your chest hurts, your heart hurts, you can’t breath, it’s the worst pain you ever felt. Mick puts his hands on your shoulders to try and still you but you shove him away as you keep screaming until the screaming turns into actual words. “He’s dead! Dean’s dead! I felt him die! He’s dead!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mick pulls you against his chest as you still try to fight to get away. “It hurts. Make it stop hurting. Please take the pain away.” He holds you tighter and you know he’s talking but you can’t make out what he’s saying over your uncontrollable sobbing. You cry so hard you start hyperventilating and pass out.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dr. Hess hangs up the phone with a pleased look on her face. You don’t need to hear what she has to say because you already know. But she wants the satisfaction of saying it out loud and crushing your soul, or the remnants of it at least. “Seems he sold his soul in a demon deal to save the youngest Winchester. He was only given one year. The bill came due and the hellhounds came to collect last night. Dean Winchester’s soul is now rotting in the bowels of hell.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mission accomplished your soul is completely crushed along with your will to live without your twin, your other half. You’re two halves of a whole so if his soul is bound to hell yours will be too. You’re living in hell on earth right now. So why not the real thing, at least you’ll be together.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m so sorry love.” Mick says as he reaches for you. Without a word you take off running through the ridiculously large mansion. You run straight to your and Mick’s shared bedroom and into your bathroom. You start pulling open all the drawers and cabinets trying to find what you need. Finally you find Mick’s old fashioned razor. “I’m coming Dean.” You whisper. Just before it makes contact with your skin it gets knocked out of your hand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Baby girl stop.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your body stiffens at the sound of his voice. You close your eyes and try taking deep breaths. Really they’re going to do this to you now? Make you hallucinate your brother who just died. Your face is soaked in tears, you feel hands on your face trying to wipe them away. “Baby girl please look at me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You start shaking your head. “You’re not real. You can’t be real. You’re dead.” Maybe saying it out loud will make the hallucination go away. “Sweetheart I am very real and I need you to open your eyes. I need you to wake up because you’re dying which is also making me feel like I’m dying. Now I understand how you felt when this really happened.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You already died. I’m just trying to get to where you are.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No baby, come on. Think real hard. This is a nightmare you’re trapped in. Ketch shot you with a dart full of Djinn poison. The longer you stay in here the more it’s killing you, killing us.” He grabs your left hand and laces your fingers with his. “If you bleed I bleed. If you die I die.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That makes your eyes fly wide open. None of the hallucinations ever said that before. No one knows about that except for you and Dean. Everything starts slowly coming back to you, but it doesn’t make you feel any better. “I thought you were with Lisa? How are you here?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m not with Lisa, and I’m not going back to Lisa. She was lying just to keep me there. Cas came and got me. And you want to know what he told me? He says this strong connection we have with each other is because we’re soulmates.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You slowly lift your free hand to touch his face. “So there was never anything wrong with us? We were right all along? We were made for each other.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah baby girl. We’re two halves of a whole, we were made for each other. Now I need you to snap out of this so you can wake up and we can be together.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Okay...what...how do I do that?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You gotta overcome your fear. I know it hurts, because I’m feeling it too. But let go of your fear of losing me. Because when you wake up I’ll be right next to you and I promise nothing will ever separate us again okay?” Then Dean leans down pressing his lips to yours. You focus on your love for him, for each other, and push the fear away.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean's eyes fly wide open. He sees three sets of worried eyes looking back at him. But none of them are the eyes he wants to see right now. He turns on his side next to you on the bed. Your eyes are still closed. He puts his hand on your cheek. "Come on baby girl, come back to me."</p><p>Your eyelashes flutter and slowly open. When your eyes come into focus you reach up and touch the handsome face looking down at you. "Dean?"</p><p>"I'm here, and I promise I'm not going anywhere. I love you so much." He decides he doesn't care about the other people in the room as he leans down and crashes his lips against yours.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Made myself tear up writing some of this chapter. 😥</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the last chapter to kind of tie up everything. But I am writing one more chapter after this as kind of a just for fun chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>CHAPTER 14</p><p>Seconds after you open your eyes, after waking up from the nightmare you were trapped in Dean crashes his lips against yours. He doesn’t stop kissing you, he just keeps moving his soft lips against yours. He only finally breaks the kiss when he’s forced to because you’re both in dire need of air. Even then he doesn’t move very far. He rests his forehead against yours and he’s half laying on top of you. </p><p>When someone clears their throat Dean’s body goes stiff. He forgot or didn’t care that there were other people in the room when you first opened your eyes. He was caught up in his emotions and not thinking about Sammy, who just watched his older brother and sister makeout. “It’s okay Dee.” You whisper to him quietly in hopes of keeping him from freaking out.</p><p>He whips his head around with panic in his eyes. “Sammy...I...we...I can explain. I mean we have an explanation. It’s not what it looks like. I mean it is, but it’s complicated. Please don’t hate us...” All his words come out fast and frantic. You sit up and put your hand over his mouth to shut him up before he gives himself a heart attack.</p><p>“I know you boys probably want to get in line to chew me out, but can you give me a minute with Dean please. Before he gives himself a stroke.” Mick steps over to you and leans down to kiss your forehead. “I’m just happy you’re okay love. I’m not going to yell at you. Maybe a stern talking to later though.” He says the last part with a smile before he walks away. </p><p>Sam leans down and gives you an awkward hug. Awkward because you still have your hand over Dean’s mouth. “Yeah, what he said.” Sam says half teasingly, referring to what Mick already told you. Cas gives you a small smile and then leaves the room with the other two men.</p><p>Once it’s just you and Dean you slowly remove your hand from his mouth. He still looks panicked. “Why aren’t you freaking out about this? I’m freaking out. Sammy just saw us!”</p><p>You bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from smiling. “Dean, calm down. Take a deep breath. Okay?” He nods his head and takes a few exaggerated long deep breaths. “Good now let me explain. After you left with that lying cunt, Sammy kind of carefully dropped a bomb on me. He’s known about us since he was 12. The little shit didn’t stay after school one day and came back to the motel and saw us kissing. He’s just kept it to himself because he knew you’d blow a gasket if he brought it up to you.” Dean opens his mouth to retort but you shush him again by holding a finger to his lips. “Before you start freaking out again let me finish. He swears he’s okay with it. He says to him it's normal, our version of normal, and he knows we won’t be happy unless we’re together.”</p><p>Dean’s shoulders relax and he slowly exhales the breath he was holding. He opens and closes his mouth a couple times. Partially because he’s waiting to see if you’re going to shush him again. “Seriously? Since he was fucking 12? I don’t know whether to hug him or slap him upside the head. So...that means everyone in the bunker right now knows...and they’re cool with it...us?”</p><p>You bite your lip and nod your head. It’s kind of hard for you to believe too, but it’s true. “Given the new information that’s come to light about us being soulmates I don’t think anyone can argue anymore anyway. We kind of don’t function very well when we’re apart. I’m surprised I made it as long as I did at least. I suppose you know or saw what happened, what I did after you died. I’m sorry for not telling you Dee, but it just hurts to think about let alone talk about.”</p><p>Dean’s eyes soften and he wraps his arms around you pulling you against his chest. “Sweetheart you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I felt it myself when the Djinn poison was killing you, so I understand. It’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt, and I never want to feel it again. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad you at least had Mick there for you.” He gently grabs your arms and pulls them away from him. You give him a questioning look at first. He holds one hand up and unsnaps the leather bracelet around your wrist, which makes you instantly tense up. Dean however isn’t phased as he pulls it off and reveals the scars around your wrist. Then he presses his lips to the scarred skin, and does it again with the other wrist. “Promise me to never keep anything from me again. You shouldn’t be afraid to tell me anything. I promise to never keep anything from you.”</p><p>You sniffle and wipe the tears from your eyes. “Okay Dee, I promise. I’ll never keep anything from you again.” Dean presses a soft kiss to your lips and then pulls you back down on the bed with him as he lays down. You wrap your arms around each other with your head on his chest. “Hey Dean?”</p><p>“Yeah baby girl?”</p><p>“What are you going to do about Lisa? I’m assuming you left in a hurry.”</p><p>He lets out a deep sigh and hugs you a little tighter. “I don’t have anything left to say to her, and any of my stuff there can be replaced. It’s just clothes, and tools that I won’t actually need anymore.”</p><p>“Did you seriously forget Baby? I know Cas didn’t bring the Impala back with you.”</p><p>You feel Dean’s entire body tense up for a second time. Yep he forgot his beloved car somehow. In his defence a lot happened rather quickly. “Fuck.” He groans. “I’m not going without you. I was serious when I said we aren’t going to be separated again. So if Cas takes us back there we can drive it back together. Is that okay with you?”</p><p>“Fuck yeah, we’re not leaving that car with her. But I can’t promise I won’t punch that bitch in the face.”</p><p>Dean chuckles and presses his lips to your forehead. “That’s my girl. You know we can make a road trip out of it, just me and you together. We can take the long way back.” You lift your head and rest your chin against his chest. “Uh huh, you just want to get me in the back seat again”</p><p>He shrugs his shoulders and a big smile appears on his face. “Baby I want you anytime and anywhere I can. But I do love having you in that backseat.” You smile back at him and then climb on top of him so you're straddling him. His hands immediately go to your hips. Then you lean down so your lips are hovering just above his. “There’s something I’ve always wanted to do but never could.” You put one hand in his hair and tilt his head to the side. Then move your lips to his neck. His breathing stutters as you start sucking marks into his sensitive skin. Neither of you could do this before because it would have left evidence behind of your little secret. But it’s not a secret anymore.</p><p>After you leave several marks he growls and flips you over so he’s lying on top of you. “My turn. I’ve always wanted to do that too. You’re mine and will always be mine.”</p><p>“I’m all yours Dee, and you’re all mine.”</p><p>He lets out another growl and pulls your shirt over your head. Then starts making his own trail of marks from your neck down to your breasts. Just as Dean slides his hand down your body and goes to unbutton your jeans there’s a knock on the door. He lets out an annoyed groan. “We’re still talking!” Dean snaps.</p><p>“Uh...sorry but we have a dead body we need to talk about dealing with.” Sam says hesitantly through the closed door. Dean gives you a confused look with a raised brow. “He’s talking about Arthur. I ganked him, remember?”</p><p>“Oh yeah, sorry I forgot already.”</p><p>You lean up and capture his lips for a kiss. “We’ll have to pick this up later baby. We gotta get the Impala back while we’re at it too.”</p><p>Dean reluctantly climbs off you and you pull your shirt back on. You walk out to the war room together where the other boys are. Sam gives you a nervous look. You know he’s wondering how your talk went with Dean. You give him a small smile and nod your head letting him know everything’s okay. Sam visibly relaxes after that, but Dean decides to pull Sam aside and talk to him alone for a moment. So you walk over to Mick so he can get his stern talking to over with.</p><p>“I’m sorry Mick. I’m sorry I took off. The fight with Dean really set me off, and I decided to take it out on Arthur. I didn’t wanna be looking over our shoulders for him constantly and I knew if I killed him twice he wouldn’t be coming back because that witch’s spell is a one and done.”</p><p>Mick stands up and wraps his arms around you. “I understand where your head was. But you gave me a fright love. You’re my best friend and I love you dearly. I don’t ever want to lose you. What you did was foolish and reckless. You almost died. No more taking off alone. Promise me.” </p><p>You squeeze him a little tighter. “I love you too Mick. I promise, no more running off. How did you find me anyway?” He kisses the top of your head and gently pulls your arms off him and takes a hold of both your hands. He gives you a curious look when he sees you aren’t wearing your bracelets. “Dean saw what happened in the nightmare I was trapped in. So he knows everything now.”</p><p>“Well I think that’s a good thing. No more secrets or hiding. Now back to your question about how I found you, please don’t be angry love. In all our years together there’s only been one secret I kept from you. After Dean died you were just so lost and unpredictable. So when I made those bracelets for you I put a tracking device inside them. This is the only time I’ve ever had to use it though.”</p><p>You sigh and squeeze his hands that are still holding yours. “I’m not angry, I understand. And if you hadn’t done it then I likely wouldn’t be here right now. So if that’s the only secret you ever kept from me, then we’re good. Now what should we do about Ketch?”</p><p>Mick gets a big smile on his face. “Yes, about that. Cas actually had an interesting idea.” You slowly turn around and look at the angel who was sitting close by. “Cas? What’s your interesting idea?”</p><p>Cas gets up and stands next to you and Mick. “I was thinking I could return his remains to the British Men of Letters. Use him as a warning to scare them. I’ll tell them if they try coming after you or Mick again the full force of heaven will reign down upon them and I will smite each and every one of them myself.”</p><p>You smile at Cas. “Really? You would do that for me? For us?”</p><p>He gives you a shy smile and nods his head. “Of course. I see the Winchester’s as my family. You have been nothing but kind to me and as you said we are friends now.”</p><p>“You got the juice for that right now?” Dean asks as he walks up behind you. You glance between both your brothers. Sammy gives you a thumbs up letting you know they're good.</p><p>Cas cocks his head to the side as he looks at Dean. “I assume you want me to take you back to your car that was left behind. So I have enough power to take you there and for me to come back. My grace should be fully restored by tomorrow.” </p><p>You give Dean a smug smile. “Even the angel didn’t forget about the car. But you did.” Dean rolls his eyes at you. “Whatever. Yeah Cas, can you take us now so I can get the whole Lisa thing over with and start making the drive back?”</p><p>You turn back to Mick since that means you leaving him behind for a night, and want to make sure he’s okay with that. “You be okay with Sammy for a night while me and Dean bring the Impala back?” He glances at Sam and then back to you with a smile on his face. “Of course love. We’ll be fine.” You look at him with a raised brow and cross your arms over your chest. “Is there something I need to know? Or that you want to tell me?”</p><p>“Not yet....?” He says hesitantly.</p><p>“Fine. We’ll pick this conversation up when I get back since you are kind of cleaning up my mess for me.”</p><p> </p><p>You hug Mick and Sam goodbye and then walk over to Dean and Cas. Cas puts his hand on one of your and Dean’s shoulders. Then in the blink of an eye you’re standing in front of the Impala in Indiana. You put your hand over Cas’s and give him a smile. “Thank you Cas. You’re going right back to the bunker right?” He gives you his own small smirk and nods his head. “Yes I’ll be waiting at the bunker for your return. I won’t return Arthur back to England until after you get back.”</p><p>“Good, we’ll start your training as soon as that’s over with.” Dean wasn’t paying attention so he didn’t hear you say that. You aren’t keeping anything from him. But you’ll wait to tell him about your plans with Cas once you’re on the road.</p><p>Cas tells both you and Dean goodbye. Then you hear the sound of fluttering wings, and he’s gone. You take a deep breath and look at Dean. “So...want me to wait outside while you do this?” He bites his lip and looks from Lisa’s house to you as he thinks. He doesn’t think long. He shakes his head and extends his hand grabbing a hold of yours. “No. I want you with me. No separating, you’re my other half.”</p><p>“Okay, but if the kid’s inside I promise I’ll behave for kids sake.”</p><p>Dean smirks at you. “Well you don’t have to worry about that. He’s still at his grandparents house. Just don’t go in swinging, let me talk first.” You smile back at him and lean up to kiss him but stop yourself mostly out of habit, but partially because you’re not sure what he plans on telling her. Well you don’t have to wonder very long because he pulls you to him and kisses you. “No more hiding, remember baby girl.” He gives you one more quick kiss and then pulls you along beside him as he walks inside Lisa’s house. </p><p>“Dean? Is that you?” You hear Lisa call out. Just the sound of her voice makes you angry. You hear her footsteps approaching. When she enters the kitchen that Dean pulled you into she looks surprised to see you, but doesn’t say anything to you. “Dean where have you been? You just left without saying anything. I was worried something happened since the Impala and your phone were still here.”</p><p>Dean squeezes your hand. “Yeah well a lot did happen. My sister needed me, and Cas came and got me. But that’s not what we need to talk about. Do you want to know what Cas told me when he first got here?”</p><p>She gets an annoyed look on her face and rolls her eyes. “Seriously it had been what, one day? And she needed you already? Whatever. Please do enlighten me, what did Cas tell you?”</p><p>“That you’re a goddamn liar. You lied to me Lisa, you’re not pregnant. You lied to keep me here because you knew I wasn’t going to stay. That’s just low.”</p><p>She crosses her arms over her chest and narrows her eyes. “You’re going to believe that angel that’s already lied to you? He knew where your sister was all along and didn’t tell you. So you’ll believe him over me?”</p><p>Dean laughs humorlessly and holds your hand a little tighter because he can feel you tensing up. Your short fuse is getting ready to blow. “Yes I do believe Cas over you. He has no reason to lie, but you on the other hand do. So cut the shit Lisa. You flat out lied. I’ll get my crap out and then I’m leaving.”</p><p>She scoffs at Dean. “That’s rich Dean. Okay fine I lied. I panicked, because I love you and don't want you to leave. But if you want me to cut the shit, then you should too. What’s the real reason your father sent your precious sister away?” </p><p>“He caught us making out on the couch with my hand down her pants finger fucking her. And I don’t love you. I have always only loved her, and that’s how it’s always going to be. Anything else you’d like to know?” Dean says without missing a beat. You couldn’t hide the big shit eating grin on your face if you tried. Just the satisfaction of Dean saying that out loud and the look on her face brings you joy. </p><p>She finally just seems to notice the hickies on both of your necks. “You are disgusting. What the hell is wrong with you? I knew you’re whole twin thing was weird, but this is just fucked up. You’re beyond fucked up. Both of you! How can you do something like that with your own sister?”</p><p>Both you and Dean roll your eyes at the same time. Then Dean wipes a hand down his face but you can see a devious gleam in his eye. He’s so over her shit right now. “You know I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve fucked her since that first night. That’s why we were gone so long. I was making her scream my name in the back of the Impala. I had every intention of leaving you that night, and I was going to be nice about it and take your feelings into consideration. But you had to go stick your nose where it didn’t belong and mess up all our plans. Turns out it didn’t matter anyway, Sam’s known since he was fucking 12 and doesn’t care. So we don’t care what you think. You wouldn’t understand, and I’m not going to waste my time trying to explain it to you.”</p><p>She has a look between rage and disgust on her face as she screams and points toward the door. “Fuck you Dean! Get the fuck out of my house. You disgust me and I never want to see you again! Get out now!” </p><p>You just want to push one more button before you leave. You put your free hand on the back of Dean’s neck and crash your lips against his. He smiles against your lips but doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back. Lisa starts screaming even louder. So you break the kiss and grab Dean’s phone and keys that are on the counter next to you. “Sorry Lisa, but you didn’t stand a chance. He’s always been mine.” You and Dean both smile as you walk out. She screams and calls you both names until you drive away in the Impala.</p><p> </p><p>Inside the Impala Dean pulls you across the seat so you're sitting right next to him. He gives you a kiss and throws his arm over your shoulders. “Glad that’s over with. Well baby girl, I feel like I have this weight finally lifted off my shoulders. I get to be completely happy for the first time in my life. Are you happy?”</p><p>“You know I am Dee. I love you.”</p><p>“I love you too.”</p><p> </p><p>About two hours into the drive you start getting antsy. You start rubbing his thigh slowly. He swerves the car a little when he startles. He looks over at you and sees you biting your lip. “Need something sweetheart?” He says with that flirty smile of his. You nod your head. “We got interrupted earlier, remember?”</p><p>You hear a low growl escape him. “Take your pants off while I look for a place to pull over.” Without hesitation you kick off your shoes and tear your jeans off. Now Dean’s biting his lip as he looks at you. “I will never get enough of you baby girl.” Then he slips his hand inside your underwear and two fingers inside you while he keeps his eyes on the road. “You’re so fucking wet for me. You need your brother’s cock to fill you up?”</p><p>You clench around his fingers and moan. “Yes Dean! Please fuck me.” He slowly moves his fingers in and out of you until he finds a dirt road in a wooded area to pull over at. You can see his arousal straining against the confines of his jeans. Once he puts the car in park he slides over in the seat. You pull your underwear off just before he pulls you into his lap and starts kissing you as you unbuckle his belt. Once you have his jeans open you grip his almost painfully hard cock and stroke him while he shoves his jeans down. He keeps his lips connected to yours as he lines himself up with your soaking wet entrance and you sink down onto him until you’re fully seated in his lap.</p><p>You both moan into each other’s mouths and sigh in relief at the feeling of being connected again, of feeling whole. “I love being inside you baby girl, you feel so good. Now ride your brother’s cock.” You groan at his dirty words and bite his lip as you start rolling your hips. </p><p>Dean moves his hands to your hips and moves you faster. So you tilt his head to the side and start sucking more marks into his skin on the side of his neck that you hadn’t marked up yet. “Harder Dean.” You gasp against his neck.</p><p>He slides his hands down to your thighs and starts pulling you to him as he thrusts up into you. “Come for me baby so I can fill you up and mark you on the inside.” You put your hands on top of the seat to steady yourself so you can ride him faster. </p><p>“So good Dee.” You gasp. Then it doesn’t take long before you’re crying out and calling his name as you reach your orgasm. He groans when he feels you tighten and spasm around him. He comes shortly after you, calling out your name, as he spills inside you. As you come down from your highs you just sit there with him still inside you and wrap your arms around each other. Feeling whole in the arms of your soulmate.</p><p>It takes a day and a half for the two of you to make it back to the bunker because of all the pit stops you kept making. You just couldn’t keep your hands off each other. As you enter Lebanon you both have big smiles on your faces. Dean leans down and gives you a kiss when he’s at a stop sign. “So what are we gonna do with ourselves now once we get back baby girl?”</p><p>Oops. You forgot to tell him about your promise to Cas. In your defense his sexiness makes your brain stop functioning properly. “Right, I forgot to tell you. I sort of adopted an angel.” </p><p>“I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean.”</p><p>“Well I heard you called Cas a baby in a trench coat and refused to train him to be a hunter. So I told him I would train him. I adopted the so-called baby in a trench coat.”</p><p>Dean starts laughing and shakes his head. “I forgot I called him that. I’m sure I was mad at him about something. If you adopted him that means I did too. So I guess we have an angel hunter in training? This oughta be interesting.”</p><p>Well at least he’s not mad. You lean up and kiss him deeply. He’s sitting at the stop sign so long someone starts honking. “Cool it ass hat!” You both yell in unison, which makes you both laugh. Dean grabs your hand and laces your fingers together. “We are definitely soulmates. I love you (Y/N) Winchester.”</p><p>“And I love you Dean Winchester.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm working on the final chapter still, but like I said it's going to be more like a bonus chapter. So I hope you enjoyed this story.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it took me so long to finish this last chapter. But enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>CHAPTER 15</p><p> </p><p>The loud voices and music echoing through the bar become background noise to you. The world around you is drowned out because you are laser focused on the skanky blonde with her hand on Dean’s arm. He went up to the bar to get you both another beer, and like clock work all the bar flies cling onto him. It drives you fucking mad, and he thinks its funny when you get all worked up over it. Well you know what Dean, payback’s a bitch you think to yourself. When the skanky blonde starts giggling, no actually it's more like an ear piercing cackling, it literally makes your eye start to twitch.</p><p>Mick follows your line of sight, although he already had a good idea what was happening. When he finds out his assumptions were correct he reaches across the table and puts his hand over your clenched fist. “Calm down love, you’re going to give yourself a migraine.”</p><p>An annoyed growl escapes you as you keep your eyes on Dean. “He’s too pretty for his own fucking good.”</p><p>“(Y/N), I don’t understand your jealousy. You know you belong to each other.” Cas says matter of factly. Of course the logical angel doesn’t get it. It’s a human emotion he has yet to experience. “It’s complicated Cas.” You mutter under your breath. Sam, the only smart one at the table stays quiet. He’s not getting in the middle of that one.</p><p>You know Dean feels your stare, well it’s more like glaring actually. Whatever you want to call it, he’s aware. He’s fidgety and keeps rolling his shoulders or rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. Well you’re not going to give him the satisfaction for riling you up any more tonight. You slide out of the booth and pull Cas out with you. “(Y/N)? What are we doing?”</p><p>“You’re my hunter in training right? Let’s go do...something...anything away from the bar. Sammy, Mick, love ya both but I’ll see you in the morning.” Both men bite back their amused smiles and wave goodnight to you. As you push your way through the crowd while pulling Cas along with you Dean eventually spots you. You pass him by without a word so he calls out to you. “Baby, where are you going?”</p><p>You look over your shoulder and narrow your eyes at him. “I’m going to go play with my angel.” It takes him a second to process what you said. Once he does his eyes go wide. “You what?!” Without another word you turn your back to him and leave. Lets see how he likes that.</p><p>“(Y/N)? I don’t understand.” Cas says, sounding thoroughly confused.</p><p>You force yourself not to roll your eyes at him. He’s not the one you’re annoyed with. “I’m just messing with Dean. Giving him a little payback for messing with me. Let’s go look through those case files again and see if we can figure out what our monster is.”</p><p> </p><p>After you and Dean returned to the bunker after retrieving the Impala from Lisa’s house you all just settled in and spent time as a family. That family includes Mick and Cas. You had a lot of lost time with your brothers to make up for. Cas did what he said and returned Arthur Ketch’s body to the British Men of Letters and very convincingly threatened and intimidated them. They’ve left you and Mick alone ever since. Cas also healed all your scars like he had promised you. So you don’t carry that shame and constant painful reminder of your past with you anymore. That was about a year ago.</p><p>After a few months you all resumed hunting again. While also training Cas like you promised. You and Sammy have far more patience than Dean does. He gets annoyed and frustrated with the angel pretty easily. So you all try to partner him with Dean as little as possible. You think Cas is doing great for a trainee, but he still has a lot to learn.</p><p>Then there’s your relationship with Dean. Even though it was out in the open you were both hesitant to display some of that in front of Sammy. It took several months before you felt comfortable enough to just kiss in front of him, but when you did he wasn’t phased by it at all. When you started meeting other hunters in their circle of friends/acquaintances Dean just introduced you as his wife. You have the Winchester name already and no one else knew who you really were. People were surprised to hear Dean Winchester had a wife, but he said you were childhood sweethearts that got separated and just found your way back to each other. Which is technically the truth. And ever since that drive home after he left Lisa the two of you haven’t had a single day apart, and never want to.</p><p>Sammy finally found a spell to get your and Mick’s damn wedding rings off. They’ve been stuck there for 10 years. You were both relieved to have those off. It was like the last reminder of the British Men of Letters, and you could finally put it behind you. You and Mick are still technically married because you would have to go back to England to file for divorce and neither of you want to step foot there ever again.</p><p>Your finger didn’t stay ringless for long though. Dean got you both wedding bands to make it look more legit, and he also doesn’t care that you and Mick are still technically married. Basically you verbally but kindly divorced each other.</p><p>Then last but not least there’s Mick and Sammy. They kind of tiptoed around feelings they had for each other. Mick confided in you early on that he had feelings for your younger brother, but wasn’t sure if those feelings were mutual. Sam was trying to figure out, or understand how he was feeling. Apparently he had only ever dated women, so Mick kind of came out of nowhere and surprised him. Maybe Dean was right, they are nerd soulmates.</p><p>They’ve been just taking things slowly, and you don’t bring it up to them. You’re just letting them figure it out at their pace. They both know that you know. But Dean has no idea. You haven’t told Dean because it’s not your secret to tell. Sammy will tell him when he’s ready. Till then you’ll just watch and wait.</p><p> </p><p>The door to your motel room flies open so hard the door knob almost puts a hole in the wall. You and Cas are just sitting at a table looking over files for the case you’re working on. You just raise your eyebrow at Dean and smile at him smuggly. He looks relieved to see you sitting there. Like you were really going to do anything with Cas. Seriously?</p><p>Dean very grumpily points outside. “Out Cas. Now.” You roll your eyes at him and then turn toward Cas. “Since you don’t sleep why don’t you just take the files and tell me in the morning if anything caught your attention. Okay?” He smiles at you and nods his head as he gathers up the files. He throws Dean a glare as he exits the room. He’s also getting fed up with Dean’s attitude and has finally started giving him attitude back.</p><p>Once Cas is out the door Dean slams it back shut. You roll your eyes at him for a second time. “Did you honestly think I’d be in here sexing up the angel?”</p><p>“First of all never say sexing and angel in the same sentence ever again. Secondly, sure logically I knew you weren’t, but I wasn’t thinking rationally at the moment. Are you really that mad at me?”</p><p>You lean back in your chair with your arms crossed and narrow your eyes at him. “A little bit yeah. You seem to think it’s funny. Do you see me laughing?”</p><p>He walks over to you and pulls you up from your seat. He gives you the saddest puppy face he can muster. Immediately you feel your resolve start to crumble. Damn him. But you try to keep the angry look on your face. “Baby I’m sorry. You know I’m just playing around. No one could ever take your place, we both know that. Let me make it up to you.”</p><p>You quirk a curious eyebrow at him. “Make up to me how?”</p><p>His sad puppy face turns into a mischievous smile. He sweeps your hair to the side exposing your neck to him. He starts kissing a trail from your jaw down to your neck. “I have a couple ideas baby girl.” He whispers against your skin. Your resolve is completely crumbled now and he already has you rubbing your thighs together. He scoops you up in his arms and carries you over to the bed. Once he drops you on the bed he quickly pulls your jeans and underwear off. Then throws his shirt on the floor with them. So you follow suit and pull your shirt off.</p><p>He bites his lip as he crawls up the bed hovering over you. “I can already see how wet you are and I haven’t even touched you yet.” He smiles when he hears you whimper and leans down kissing you softly. Then he pulls away from you and crawls back down the bed. “Dean, what are you doing?” You whine.</p><p>“I said I was gonna make it up to you and show you how sorry I am.” He says with a smile as he kneels at the end of the bed and grabs hold of your thighs spreading you wide open for him. He licks his lips and leans down and licks a stripe up your aching core. You whimper again wanting more. He decides to stop teasing you and buries his face between your thighs.</p><p>“Oh fuck.” You gasp as your eyes roll back and you put a hand in his hair. He eats you out like a man starved and has you babbling incoherently. It doesn’t take long for him to have you screaming. “Fuck yes Dean!” He knows exactly what you like and all the right buttons to push. Before you know it you're screaming out his name as he has you coming on his tongue. He stops just before you get over sensitive and lifts his face from between your legs. He looks overly pleased with himself. “So, am I forgiven?”</p><p>“What was I mad about?”</p><p> </p><p>The next day as you’re working the case you assumed Dean was gonna knock the flirty shit off after your ‘talk’ last night. Well you would assume wrong. While you’re at the coroner's office looking at the body of the most recent victim Dean’s flirting with the girl at the front desk. That’s it! You’re fighting fire with fire. You were just messing around last night, but you’re definitely going to amp it up today. “Cas...you may want to go work with Mick and Sammy today. Dean’s going to be in a mood before the day is done.”</p><p>“I see. Yes I understand. Well good luck (Y/N).” He pats you on the shoulder before you hear wings fluttering and he disappears. You don’t think he actually understands what you were saying. Just the part about Dean being in a mood was enough to get him to leave.</p><p>Dean gives you a curious look when he meets you back at the car. “Where’s Cas?” You keep a straight face. “He’s going to work with Mick and Sammy. So it’s just me and you today.” Dean’s face lights up. He likes it when it’s just the two of you. Well he won’t be smiling by the time you’re done with him.</p><p>The next stop is to talk to some potential witnesses. They just so happen to be college kids, hanging out at a college bar. Perfect. When you get to the bar you and Dean have to split up because the kids are hanging out in separate groups. It’s warm inside the bar and you still have your FBI outfits on. So you take off your jacket and unbutton the top couple buttons of your shirt revealing a decent amount of cleavage. Then you go approach the group of young college guys you need information from. One of them whistles as they all look you up and down. “Hello boys.”</p><p> </p><p>When Dean hears your laughter his initial reaction is to smile. He loves hearing you laugh. So he turns his head in hopes of seeing your smiling face. Which he does, but he immediately loses his smile and instead feels his blood pressure boiling. You’re standing next to a table, leaning on it with your palms flat against it. The guys you’re talking to are obviously looking down your shirt. Why in the fuck is your shirt unbuttoned?! Then you flip your hair over your shoulder as you laugh and arch your back making your ass stick out more.</p><p>Dean cracks his knuckles as he growls under his breath. He’s going to gouge each and every one of their eyeballs out because they are very clearly eye fucking you and you’re just laughing about it.</p><p>He finally loses it when one of the guys stands up and leaves like barely an inch of space between your bodies and he starts whispering something into your ear. He expected you to shove the guy away with a disgusted look on your face like you normally would. But no, you just stand there and giggle, yes giggle.</p><p>Dean storms across the bar with fire in his eyes and roughly pulls the guy that was in your personal space far away from you. “Car. Now.” He grits out when he makes eye contact with you. You roll your eyes at him as you stand up straight. Dean’s blood pressure continues to rise when you face him and he sees your cleavage on display and covered in sweat because it’s so fucking hot in this damn bar.</p><p>“Sorry fellas gotta get back to work.” You say with a flirty smile and a wink.</p><p>They all groan in disappointment and start begging you to stay but Dean grabs you by the arm and pulls you outside. You bite the inside of your cheek to keep back the smug smile that wants to appear on your face. He doesn’t stop until you get to the Impala and he pushes you up against it, caging you in with one hand resting on either side of you on the car. “Care to explain what the fuck that was about?”</p><p>He even has this vein in his forehead that’s pulsating. Oh he is so going to blow his top, this was much easier than you thought. “What? I was working. Did I do something wrong?” His face turns red with rage and he keeps growling under his breath like a damn animal. It’s actually quite hilarious. “Don’t you dare play dumb with sis.” He says in a low voice.</p><p>You put your arms over his shoulders and lean in hovering your lips next to his ear. “What’s wrong Dee? Don’t like me flirting with other men? You know I’m just playing around.” You throw some of his own words back at him.</p><p>“Get in the car.” He says in an eerily calm voice.</p><p>You slowly pull away from him with a smirk on your face and climb inside the Impala. When he gets in he doesn’t say anything. But you can see his jaw clenched tight and that vein is still pulsating. He doesn’t say anything the entire drive, and you don’t ask where you’re going. Eventually you figure out he’s heading back toward the motel. Oh you are definitely in for it now.</p><p>See the whole reason he likes getting you jealous and riled up is because it usually results in some really hot and fiery sex. So you can only imagine what he’s about to do to you.</p><p>When he pulls up to the motel he gets out of the car without a word, so you get out too and follow him inside. Once inside he slams the door shut and pushes you until you’re seated on the edge of the bed. He looks at you with dark eyes as he throws his jacket off and angrily rips his tie off and starts pacing. “So you’re trying to prove a point huh? Payback? That’s what that little show was about?”</p><p>“It’s not so fun from that side is it Dean?”</p><p>He slowly walks across the room and stops when he’s standing right in front of you. He still has that fiery look in his eyes. “You are going to be sorry by the time I’m done with you baby girl because you’re not gonna be able to walk straight for a week.” Without warning he rips the rest of your shirt open, you hear buttons flying all over the room. Then he reaches under your skirt and yanks your underwear off. He flips you around and bends you over the bed. A thrill of excitement runs through you and you’re already anxious with anticipation.</p><p>You bite your lip when you hear him unbuckling his belt. Then he hikes your skirt up and presses his front against your back while slipping a hand between your already wet thighs. “You better only be this wet because of me and no one else.” He says in a deep growly voice next to your ear.</p><p>“Only you Dean.” You whisper.</p><p>Then he starts sliding his fingers teasingly through your wet folds. “This sweet pussy is mine and only mine. Only I get to fuck you and make you scream while you come on my cock, and fill you up.” His dirty talk makes you whimper. He’s still just teasing you with his fingers and it’s making you crazy. He abruptly pulls his fingers away making you whine more. But before you can whine too much he spreads your legs wider and quickly pushes all the way inside you in one swift motion.</p><p>“You better hold on tight sweetheart.” He whispers as he puts one hand on your hip and the other on your shoulder. Then he starts slamming into you fast and hard. He’s pulling you toward him as he thrusts into you. “Oh fuck yes.” You gasp.</p><p>“Who do you belong to (Y/N)?” He grits out posessively.</p><p>“You Dean.” You moan out.</p><p>Somehow that just makes him pound into you impossibly harder. He knows when you're close and like always he knows exactly what you want. He leans over you pressing his front to your back once again, wrapping an arm around you and sliding it between your soaked thighs. He rubs his fingers everywhere but the spot you want and he’s obviously teasing you on purpose. “Who does this pussy belong to (Y/N)?”</p><p>“Only you Dean. I only want your cock fucking me.”</p><p>“Good girl.” He says as he bites down on your shoulder and finally starts rubbing your clit the way you wanted. You come hard, crying out and screaming his name. He comes right after you, spilling his come inside you.</p><p>You relax and sink into the bed as you catch your breath. You feel Dean unsnapping your bra that you never got off. “Oh no baby girl. We’re not done yet. I’m just getting started.” You glance at him over your shoulder. Huh? He just fucked you senseless. He just gives you a devious smile as he reaches for his tie and grabs your wrists and ties them behind your back. Okay, he hasn’t done that before. But you’re not complaining. Then he pushes you all the way onto the bed and slides your skirt off so you’re completely bare. “Didn’t I tell you, you were going to be sorry?”</p><p>He tears off the rest of his clothes and climbs back up the bed. Well he’s not hard yet, he needs a little more recovery time than that. So you’re not sure where he’s going with this. He moves his lips to your neck and nips your skin. “I’m going to mark every inch of your skin, marking all of you as mine.” Oh you should have seen that coming, because that’s exactly what you do to him.</p><p>He takes his time marking his way down your body. You quickly figure out the tie was a punishment because he knows how much you like to touch him. While he’s marking up your skin he puts a hand back between your thighs and begins to teasingly rub you again. It doesn’t take long before he turns you into a squirming mess.</p><p>He sucks marks into your neck, chest, around your breasts, stomach, and hips. All the while he doesn’t stop moving his talented fingers. He’s already made you come two more times with just his fingers. “Dean I can’t come anymore.” You whine, starting to feel oversensitive.</p><p>You feel his arousal pressing against your hip as he hovers above you. He leans down and captures your lips for a claiming kiss. “I bet I can get one more out of you. Can I try for one more?” He presses against your entrance waiting for your answer. You could never say no to him. He makes you insatiable for him. “Okay Dee.”</p><p>He smiles as he reaches behind you and unties your hands. He gently grabs each of your wrists and kisses your skin. “I didn’t hurt you did I?” You smile at his change in attitude. He switched from full on possessive caveman, to your loving other half. “No you didn’t. It was a surprise, but it turned me on.”</p><p>He resumes kissing you, but it’s softer and gentler this time. He slowly pushes inside you and grabs your hand and laces your fingers together. Then rests your joined hands on the bed next to your head. “I love you (Y/N), and only you.” He whispers against your lips as he slowly moves in and out of you.</p><p>“I love you Dean, and only you.”</p><p>You put your free hand through his hair and roll your hips against his. He buries his face in your neck gently kissing your skin he previously marked up. You thought it wasn’t going to be possible to come again. But with him making slow love to you, hitting the right spots, he has you on the edge again. And of course he knows that. “Come for me baby. One more time.”</p><p>You wrap your legs around him, and squeeze his hand that’s still holding yours as you gasp out his name coming for a fourth time that night. He comes with you for a second time. His hips still and he gasps against your skin, whispering how much he loves you.</p><p>He gives you one more soft kiss and slowly pulls out of you, and rolls onto his back pulling you against his chest. He keeps an arm wrapped tightly around you and runs his fingers through your hair with the other. “I’m sorry.” He says quietly.</p><p>You slowly lift your head, resting your chin on his chest so you can see his face. “For?”</p><p>“The flirting and teasing. You were right it really does suck when it’s the other way around. I was ready to burn that bar to the ground. I promise I won't do it anymore. Forgive me?”</p><p>You give him a tired smile, because you really are exhausted. “Of course I do. If it makes you feel any better I felt dirty doing it, but I had to teach you a lesson somehow.”</p><p>“Lesson learned darlin’, lesson learned.”</p><p>You chuckle and lay your head back down. Just before you drift off to sleep you hear him muttering to himself. “I’m still kicking their preppy frat boy asses before we leave town though.”</p><p> </p><p>The next morning...well more like afternoon, you and Dean finally roll out of bed. You both wore each other out pretty thoroughly last night. Dean leaves to go get both of you coffee and go check in with Sammy. You kind of irresponsibly flaked the case off yesterday to deal with the qualms you were having with your other half.</p><p>You check your phone after you get dressed and see you have a couple texts from Sammy. You facepalm yourself when you read the first text. “Dammit Cas. Seriously?”</p><p>
  <em>Don’t worry, we solved the case without you. Cas said you were busy having ‘copious amounts of make up sex.’</em>
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  <em>It was a Wraith by the way.</em>
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  <em>Mick and I are spending the day together. Go do copious amounts of whatever until tomorrow.</em>
</p><p>You snort out a laugh at the last one. Oh you’re gonna have a chat with Cas about that. He needs to learn when to keep his mouth shut. As you internally curse about the angel your phone goes off with a text from Mick. Him and Sam have a room at the opposite side of the motel. They refuse to share a wall with the two of you. You can’t really blame them for that.</p><p>
  <em>Can you teach your twin how to bloody knock?!</em>
</p><p>Your eyes go wide. Uh oh. What did Dean walk in on? You hear the sound of feet pounding against the pavement as someone runs quickly. Dean comes barreling into the motel room with his own set of wide eyes. “I...um...Sammy...Mick...and uh…” He just keeps stuttering out single words that make no sense. You try and fail not to laugh. You warned them he’d find out sooner or later. Just like your secret with Dean got out. “Dean calm down.”</p><p>“Why...why...did you...did you know?”</p><p>“Yes, but it wasn’t my secret to tell. I told them they needed to tell you. And Mick just texted me that you need to learn to knock. Is it fair to say you learned another lesson today?”</p><p>He starts nodding his head comically fast. “Uh huh. Yep. Definitely be knocking from now on.”</p><p>“Smart man. Well they solved the case while we were otherwise occupied last night. So how about you help me hunt down a trench coat wearing angel who told our baby brother we were busy having copious amounts of make up sex.”</p><p>That gets Dean to snap out of his little freak out he was having. “Copious? Seriously? I’m going to kick his feathered ass! But after we get some pie and I burn what I just saw out of my head.”</p><p>Dean grabs your hand and pulls you out to the Impala. His mood shifts again once he’s inside his beloved car with his other half. You sit in the middle pressed up against him with his arm around you and the radio blaring as he sings along. It obviously helped him block out whatever it was that he walked in on. You may have a strange family, but to you it’s the perfect family and the perfect life. You wouldn’t trade any of them for the world. And most importantly you have your soulmate and nothing on this earth could ever separate you again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>When I started this story I didn't plan on pairing Sam and Mick together. It just kind of ended up fitting the story.</p>
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